My granny and my mom

by Tammy Hall Parker on Saturday, November 13, 2010 at 5:49pm

I just wanted to take a minute to reflect back on when I was a little girl. I remember growing up my whole life in Adamsville and my granny lived in Bessemer right next door to the fire station where Jeff works now. (funny huh?) Anyway we didn't go see my granny very often because mother hated to drive very far and she was always so busy around the house. My dad worked long hours so she had to do all the yard work and the house work. We only had one car for a long time and that is another reason we never got to go see my grandmother. Then even though later on when we got a second car it seemed to just add to the work because now she had all the errands to run during the week. But my granny, God rest her soul, didn't look at it that way. She figured we had another car so that would free my mom up to come visit more often and bring me to see her, see I was the baby grand-daughter too. I would hear my mom every now and then on the phone with granny telling her there was no way we could come visit that day because mom had too much to do. My PaPa died long before I was born and granny was getting so far along in years that most of her friends had either moved away or passed away. My granny was in her early 90's when she passed. All of her children had grown up and moved away and sad to say there were a couple of them, like in every family, that didn't come visit because they didn't want to be reminded that they came from a farming family that could barely make ends meet with so many kids during the depression. My granny was a funny lady though. She always smiled at everyone she met and she never met a stranger. When I first met Jeff I met his fire chief he said he remebered granny because she always used a broom to sweep the grass clippings off her yard so they wouldn't leave spots. She was beautiful, short, curly white hair, big smile,wrinkles all over her face, and what I like to think of as fluffy around the middle. lol I can't remember what color her eyes were but I can still remember thinking I hoped when I got as old as her my eyes would dance with mischief like hers did. She always wanted me to spend the weekend with her and mother wouldn't let me. When I asked her why she said because granny would let me have my way and it would take her a week just to straighten me out again. Just to let you know how sneaky my granny could be there were several times mom would come running out of the house with her purse yelling "get in the car granny says she feels like she is dying and we need to get to Bessemer fast." We would jump in the car and take off as fast as we could to granny's house. When we came running in granny would yell from the back of the house where the kitchen was to hurry up and get in there. We would walk in to find a table covered in food that she had been cooking all day so we would come eat. lol This little stunt worked on mom several times. She always said she would never be as sneaky as granny. Right. My mom is so much like her lately that I can see granny everytime I look at her and I know how mom felt when granny would pull a stunt. My granny would say she was dying my mom just sneaks around and tries to get up and walk when she knows she can't so we will have to be on constant watch. Same idea different tactic.
I still remember the last time I spoke with my granny it has been about 27 years since she passed. She had cancer. It was on the back of her tongue and back then when you got cancer they cut it out but most of the time you passed away from it anyway because they had no real treatment especially for people her age. She told the doctor if he cut it out she couldn't talk and she was going to be able to speak her mind until the day she died. Mom finally found time to go see granny, we would go every weekend to the nursing home. When we saw her the last time she wanted a milkshake and a fried pie. It was 8:00 in the morning and no one was serving milkshakes and pies at that time of day. There was a Jack's resturant on Bessemer Super Hwy and when we told the manager what we wanted and who it was for he made up two shakes and fried some pies just for granny. He wouldn't take a dime for any of it or his trouble but told us to call ahead anytime and he would have them ready for us when we got there. When we got to the nursing home and gave them to granny that was the last time I saw her smile,and her eyes dance. She could barely talk but she told me to find someone to love and to take care of my mom the way she had taken care of her. We talked to granny for a while and left telling her we would bring her more fried pies and milkshakes the next weekend, little did we know that there would be no more weekends. We walked in right after the funeral home had come for granny. I was about 18 years old. I thought about what she had told me and I told my mom right then that I would always take care of her and she would never be alone. See there was no one there when granny passed away and I have always wondered how she felt or what her last words would have been. But I'm sure of one thing in the end when she saw my papa she smiled her beautiful smile as he led her home. And I know that when granny sees me taking care of her baby, my mom, she smiles now too. My mom has granny's eyes and when she smiles I still see granny in her. I also see the mischief that she always said she would never pull come out from time to time. Sometimes these memories are what gets me through those rough days when I feel like I can't keep on going anymore. Sometimes I think granny just gives me a little nudge to let me know I can do it. No matter what it is or how things turn out I loved my granny and I love my mom and when everything is said and done there will be no regrets in my heart because I will be here to hear her last thoughts or see her last smile. I will hold her hand when she is scared and I will try to make her happy when she is sad. When she gets mad at me because our roles have changed and now I take care of her instead of the other way around I will try to be understanding.
Granny, I hope you are looking down here and giving me all the little nudges and sometimes the little pushes I need. She was your baby in the family. I am her baby, and I am trying to keep the promise I made both of you many many years ago.