Things that are the most important to me

by Tammy Hall Parker on Tuesday, November 2, 2010 at 3:33pm

My family comes first, middle and last with me. They are the most important thing in my life and they are what keeps me going from day to day. Without them I wouldn't have humor, love, sanity,friendship,and most of all peace in life. The kids have reached a point in life that one has found his way and is going to start a family of his own. This makes me both happy and sad. Even though I know that he needs to spread his wings and I couldn't have hoped he would find such a special young woman who I have grown to love in a very short time as if she were my own,to spend his life with. I will miss the ability to feel as though I can keep up with his comings and goings and look forward to the little things we enjoy together.
Then there is the oldest daughter who is just starting to find her way. She has larger than life ambitions and the tenacity to stick with it. She is looking at colleges and chasing rainbows just like all young people should as long as they can. Life has a way of getting harder as you grow and sometimes those rainbows are harder to find but she seems to find beauty in all things and I believe this is what sets her apart from most people her age and will take her far in life. And when things seem to be too much she knows she only has to come to us and we will try to restore some of the faith in mankind that she always seems to find even when others wouldn't even bother to look.
Then we come to the youngest. She is learning to drive. Oh how I worry what doors this will open. She hasn't decided her lifes path yet but she is still young and very carefree. I think that is the way young people should be. Adulthood comes sooner and sooner and they should enjoy all that childhood has to offer.
Then there is the man in my life. He is not last in this note but he is by far the glue that holds us all together. I love him beyond measure and I don't tell him often enough how much he means to us all. We have loved each of our children, tried to instill good morals in them and somehow I think we have done just that. The day he said I do I don't think he ever imagined what he was getting himself into but I think he has handled it well. I don't know what my life would have been without him and I look forward to spending the rest of our lives together. I love him more now than the day I married him. I never believed in love at first sight and I never thought my heart would still skip a beat after all these years just from seeing him walk in the door or just holding me in his arms. It always feels like the first time that I have ever felt such love for another person. So honey if you're reading this just know I look forward to a long life with you and I want to have as much fun with you in our old age as I have had over the years with you since the day you made me say I do.lol By the way thank you for talking me into that. I loved you then, I love you now, and I love you forever.
The four of us in probably the last group photo for a long time.
Me and Zach my oldest and dearest son. Finally all grown up

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My granny and my mom

by Tammy Hall Parker on Saturday, November 13, 2010 at 5:49pm

I just wanted to take a minute to reflect back on when I was a little girl. I remember growing up my whole life in Adamsville and my granny lived in Bessemer right next door to the fire station where Jeff works now. (funny huh?) Anyway we didn't go see my granny very often because mother hated to drive very far and she was always so busy around the house. My dad worked long hours so she had to do all the yard work and the house work. We only had one car for a long time and that is another reason we never got to go see my grandmother. Then even though later on when we got a second car it seemed to just add to the work because now she had all the errands to run during the week. But my granny, God rest her soul, didn't look at it that way. She figured we had another car so that would free my mom up to come visit more often and bring me to see her, see I was the baby grand-daughter too. I would hear my mom every now and then on the phone with granny telling her there was no way we could come visit that day because mom had too much to do. My PaPa died long before I was born and granny was getting so far along in years that most of her friends had either moved away or passed away. My granny was in her early 90's when she passed. All of her children had grown up and moved away and sad to say there were a couple of them, like in every family, that didn't come visit because they didn't want to be reminded that they came from a farming family that could barely make ends meet with so many kids during the depression. My granny was a funny lady though. She always smiled at everyone she met and she never met a stranger. When I first met Jeff I met his fire chief he said he remebered granny because she always used a broom to sweep the grass clippings off her yard so they wouldn't leave spots. She was beautiful, short, curly white hair, big smile,wrinkles all over her face, and what I like to think of as fluffy around the middle. lol I can't remember what color her eyes were but I can still remember thinking I hoped when I got as old as her my eyes would dance with mischief like hers did. She always wanted me to spend the weekend with her and mother wouldn't let me. When I asked her why she said because granny would let me have my way and it would take her a week just to straighten me out again. Just to let you know how sneaky my granny could be there were several times mom would come running out of the house with her purse yelling "get in the car granny says she feels like she is dying and we need to get to Bessemer fast." We would jump in the car and take off as fast as we could to granny's house. When we came running in granny would yell from the back of the house where the kitchen was to hurry up and get in there. We would walk in to find a table covered in food that she had been cooking all day so we would come eat. lol This little stunt worked on mom several times. She always said she would never be as sneaky as granny. Right. My mom is so much like her lately that I can see granny everytime I look at her and I know how mom felt when granny would pull a stunt. My granny would say she was dying my mom just sneaks around and tries to get up and walk when she knows she can't so we will have to be on constant watch. Same idea different tactic.
I still remember the last time I spoke with my granny it has been about 27 years since she passed. She had cancer. It was on the back of her tongue and back then when you got cancer they cut it out but most of the time you passed away from it anyway because they had no real treatment especially for people her age. She told the doctor if he cut it out she couldn't talk and she was going to be able to speak her mind until the day she died. Mom finally found time to go see granny, we would go every weekend to the nursing home. When we saw her the last time she wanted a milkshake and a fried pie. It was 8:00 in the morning and no one was serving milkshakes and pies at that time of day. There was a Jack's resturant on Bessemer Super Hwy and when we told the manager what we wanted and who it was for he made up two shakes and fried some pies just for granny. He wouldn't take a dime for any of it or his trouble but told us to call ahead anytime and he would have them ready for us when we got there. When we got to the nursing home and gave them to granny that was the last time I saw her smile,and her eyes dance. She could barely talk but she told me to find someone to love and to take care of my mom the way she had taken care of her. We talked to granny for a while and left telling her we would bring her more fried pies and milkshakes the next weekend, little did we know that there would be no more weekends. We walked in right after the funeral home had come for granny. I was about 18 years old. I thought about what she had told me and I told my mom right then that I would always take care of her and she would never be alone. See there was no one there when granny passed away and I have always wondered how she felt or what her last words would have been. But I'm sure of one thing in the end when she saw my papa she smiled her beautiful smile as he led her home. And I know that when granny sees me taking care of her baby, my mom, she smiles now too. My mom has granny's eyes and when she smiles I still see granny in her. I also see the mischief that she always said she would never pull come out from time to time. Sometimes these memories are what gets me through those rough days when I feel like I can't keep on going anymore. Sometimes I think granny just gives me a little nudge to let me know I can do it. No matter what it is or how things turn out I loved my granny and I love my mom and when everything is said and done there will be no regrets in my heart because I will be here to hear her last thoughts or see her last smile. I will hold her hand when she is scared and I will try to make her happy when she is sad. When she gets mad at me because our roles have changed and now I take care of her instead of the other way around I will try to be understanding.
Granny, I hope you are looking down here and giving me all the little nudges and sometimes the little pushes I need. She was your baby in the family. I am her baby, and I am trying to keep the promise I made both of you many many years ago.

Thanksgiving memories being made

by Tammy Hall Parker on Friday, November 26, 2010 at 4:27am

We didn't really start having a family Thanksgiving meal until just a few years ago. My mom used to have one every year until she started to work and all of her other kids decided they would spend it with their spouses family instead. I never really thought about the dinner part of it. I mean lets face it since Jeff and I got married with what we did for a living we worked every Thanksgiving. Then I happened to be off one year (and no jokes about me being off just one year) and Jeff was home so Kelcy asked why we didn't make a huge dinner like everyone else. I thought about it and said why not. Ha now I know...I had only tried in ohhhh I won't say how many years to cook a turkey about every 4 years or so. Never really got the hang of it. On my first try nobody said it took forever to thaw a frozen turkey. On my second try no one told me there was stuff ewww inside the turkey before I cooked it, you can only guess how long it took to throw that one out. The next one went ok except the thingy that popped out and said the turkey was ready didn't automatically brown the stupid thing so it looked really gross. Now I have decided with the girls that it is not so much whether the turkey is edible or if it looks like a Martha Stewart picture, it's the fun we have together just trying to get the stupid bird in a small oven. Besides who fixed Martha a turkey while she did time? Should have been me I would have had a ball! lol I had never seasoned a turkey until a couple of years ago and since my mom won't eat anything with less than 4 legs she was no help. So I didn't get a cookbook I decided I would open the cabinet and take out whatever looked like something a t.v. cook might use. Just wanted to point out here don't lube up the turkey before getting in the pan...you would think that thing grew back feathers and learned to fly. lmao...and so were the girls. I had bought the turkey cooking bag only to learn that the stupid bird wouldn't fit in the oven with a bag once it got hot so out of the bag it flew, uh came. Anyway after an hour of prep time and alot of challenges the turkey was in the oven. I decided this year I would try to baste the stupid thing whatever you do that for, guess what it turned brown. Yea for the team! First edible turkey. I think family history was made that year and now we have decided it really doesn't matter after the last few years whether or not the turkey can be ate or if it goes out in a bag to the garbage, it was the fun we have trying to get it right. I never write down what we put in or on the bird just try anything we can get our hands on every year. And yes this means it never tastes the same but who cares when you spend a couple of hours laughing with your kids? I hope when they grow up and have kids of their own they don't write anything down just rub stuff on and pour stuff over year after year and have as much fun. A little disclaimer here...no frozen turkeys were seriously harmed while making this Thanksgiving tradition. Just a huge mess to clean up on the counters while it cooked. :) Oh, and can someone tell me what you do with that nasty stuff inside that we all look at each other and say "you get it out I got it out of Tom last year"? Just kidding I know what it's suppose to be used for but why tell them till I have to? He He He. Now I just love Thanksgiving and this is just one more thing I have to be thankful for. My family, my friends, our health and the people that put turkeys in the freezer for us to play with. lol

A special person leaves to be with God

by Tammy Hall Parker on Wednesday, December 1, 2010 at 12:06am

On November 26,2010 our mother,granny,great grandmother and great great grandmother left all her suffering and pain behind at 6:07 in the morning to go be with God and all the family she has missed for so long. She became extremely weak only a couple of weeks before this happened but told me she was tired of living without any quality in her life. She hated to be waited on because she was always the care giver in the family. She was special to each of us in different ways. But she was the rock that held the mountain together. I just can speak for this household and how it has been for us the last couple of weeks and especially the last week. I have children both grown and young that played a part in taking care of granny. Now I have one that will not cry and tries to take care of everyone else, I have one that cries over everything. Zach is just quiet as usual he keeps things to himself. I hurt in my bones I thought it may be arthritis but went to the doctor and he said I was fine except for some swelling in my feet, and fatigue. He said the hurting was from grieving. I knew I would cry, that my heart would hurt, that I would probably sleep alot even though sleep is filled with nightmares about that morning, but I had never heard of bone pain. Poor Jeff lost what he considered to be a mother to him and he has had to try and grieve and take care of us. I know it is taking a toll on him but I don't know what I would do without him. Bless his heart he has been so busy he even went to work today and it was his off day. He was always worried how we would be able to take mother someday passing away while living with us because everywhere we looked there would be a memory, but I think in some ways that is good. They say there are several steps to the grieving process and they don't come in any special order other than the final being acceptance. We are fortunate that the person that performed the ceremony was not only a family friend he was also mothers friend. Even though he suffered a loss also he was still able to perform a service I think mother would have wanted. She wasn't a person who wanted a big fuss made when she went home. Everytime she heard of someone passing away she would call me and Alyssa in and tell us just how she wanted things and who she wanted to do what. It never changed but she wanted us to be sure we didn't forget. She was in her right mind up until the end when she couldn't stand up at all. It was nice to be able to talk to her and relive memories for all of us. Each night we would take turns on different nights talking to her and making her laugh. At times when things got bad she would get on to me about making her eat exactly like she always did, same voice, and the same sentence but would finally give in. Alot of this may not seem like it is about mom, but if you knew her you know that she would consider this to be a fuss made over her. We all loved her, we will all miss her, and she will remain in our hearts forever. God has a very special person with him now and all of the questions she always wanted answered he has answered for her. She can finally dance which she always loved to do. She can enjoy family and friends that passed on before her and met her to show her the way home. She can look down and watch over all of us and we will do our best to make her proud. Most importantly all the pain and all the things that have caused her problems have all gone away and she is young,vibrant,and still as beautiful as always. This family has two very important things that will happen in the next year that she was looking forward to being here for but God had other plans. She will still be there but it will be in spirit instead of in person. But we have to remember to include her and know she is still there with us.
We all love you mom, we will miss feeling your arms around us, we will miss the goodnight kisses, but we know we will see you again. We will do all we can to make you proud of us and will always ask ourselves when we have a problem we can't solve,"what would mom say for us to do?" Don't worry about us we will be fine in time. Enjoy where you are and tell everyone we have lost that we love and miss them too. It's good to know you are with a special someone that Jeff and I never got the chance to meet. Give them a kiss for us and let them know they are thought about often with love. Just as we will always think of you. Once again we love you still, this is not goodbye this is see you later when the time is right. Goodnight mom.

Lifes little lessons

by Tammy Hall Parker on Friday, December 17, 2010 at 5:11am

Wash clothes, buy groceries, clean house, run errands, make appointments, keep appointments, work around kids schedule, cook dinner, wash dishes, clean closets, put up decorations, cook huge dinner for family, take down decorations, water plants before they start to droop, answer the 15th phone call today,make 15 more to fit in more appointments, get mail sift through the junk to the important stuff, take garbage out before it overflows,send out Christmas cards,check those all important lists,answer questions,listen to problems, listen to the latest drama, everybody family meeting time to co-ordinate schedules, whoops booked over one that can't be changed, go back and reschudule original appointment, calendar is full start making notes in the margin, brain has overloaded start putting things to do on white board on fridge, white board is full start checking the notebook for updates and changes, keep things in perspective, don't sweat the small stuff, imagine the worst, hope for the best and pray you get through it all with your sanity intact. That's being a mom today.
Had an uncle once that always would look at any problem, think on it for just a minute if that long. Said out loud that either it would work itself out or it wouldn't he couldn't change the outcome. Never worried about politics or watched the news. Lived happily for 96 years, always smiled, still had perfect eyesight and a good mind. Drove himself to and from the doctor once a year for a physical where the doctor found nothing wrong. Always treated others the way he wanted to be treated. Always said he hoped that when his time came he would just fall asleep and not wake up. He called his grandson and said he was going to take a nap in his favorite recliner...never woke up.
Maybe we should all take a lesson from our ancestors. If you look back they worked harder than most of us in worse conditions. Lived with less money. Never worried about tomorrow but lived for today. Always treated people they met with kindness. Helped their neighbors in good times and through the bad times. Some of them lived before indoor plumbing and pulled water from a well. Grew their own food or went hungry. Pulled together as a family and counted on one another to pull their own weight. And yet they never complained and they lived longer than those of us today. Maybe they were on to something...you think?

New Year, New Me

by Tammy Hall Parker on Thursday, December 30, 2010 at 4:11am

O.K. so New Years is suppose to be a clean slate and a way to change the old and start out fresh and new. I think for the first time in my life I am going to try this tradition. I always listened to other people say things like how they were going to lose weight, quit smoking, spend more time with friends and family, exercise more...but I look at some of those people and realize they may have just thought they could make those promises to themselves and keep them. Don't get me wrong I don't want anyone getting mad here but statistics show most people have broken or forgotten these things by the end of the first week.
I don't want to make big resolutions that I probably will not do or keep up with. I want to get some things done that I have always wanted. My knee is really having trouble. I know that sounded like it didn't involve me...but the first thing I want to do is try and restore some of its good health. Oh how I would love to be able to get down in the floor to clip coupons or just get down on my knees to find the ball the dog rolled under the furniture. That brings me to the second resolution...don't take the little things for granted. I've never been big on taking pictures just randomly of my family. This is definitly going to change. I got a small camera for Christmas and I'm learning to use it. Look out folks I will be in a livingroom or kitchen near you soon. I want pictures of the girls just hanging out. Jeff just walking through the door. Even the little crazy things they all do. I don't make a pledge to get them in an album that is to much to hope for right now, but just having them is the important thing. Most of you don't know I have a phobia about going places by myself. I don't know how this got started it just kind of happened. Well the kids are growing up and will be moving on so I guess that is one of the little things I have to get over. So I am going to try slow with running short errands and just going for rides. I will do this though when someone is here to come get me in case I flip out and can't get back alone. Oh here is where I should mention that when I say by myself I can follow people and it is not as bad I mean you're not really alone if someone is there to catch you. Important things are coming up in my children's lives this year. Alyssa has been offered a large scholarship and it is probably the first of many. This is really making me think of where she may be in what has turned into a few short months. She has also been offered at trip with People to People Student Ambassadors to go to Italy, France and Greece this summer. She went with them to Australia when she was 10 and had so much fun she still talks about it today. If she goes it will mean as soon as she returns she will be off to the college of her choice. Then there is Zach getting married to the sweetest person I've ever met. Her name is Beth and they will be married in June. He will be moving out and starting a new and exciting life himself. Just the two of them starting a long journey that every turn will take them in their own special direction, but they will make those turns together to make it their personal family journey. Kelcy will still be at home, but she is a free spirit and you never know with her which way she will travel from year to year or even day to day. Jeff will keep being Jeff and doing his thing with work and more work, with the good Lord willing to keep all of this going.
So now you see the new me is sort of like I'm going in reverse more than moving forward I guess. I started out this journey with two good knees, lots of baby pictures, and going places alone and doing things that people never thought I would accomplish. But I will have a wonderful man by my side that I can grow old with as the other people I love move on and make their lives their own. He will be here to catch me when I trip and we will be here to catch the others when they need us, just like when they were babies taking their first steps. I guess you could say I'm looking for my balance all over again. I will never be the same, some things just change you, but I will try and make the best for the New Year. I'll read this next year and see how things went.

Snow new and old memories

by Tammy Hall Parker on Monday, January 10, 2011 at 5:57am

It started snowing early as most people know. Alyssa and Kelcy were excited and loved it. It is 5:08 am I have been up for a couple of hours. Got up just to see how deep the snow was and what to expect for the day. It is a winter wonderland and we only got 2" but I hope I can get some pics before it gets all messed up with people walking and driving on it. I love to look at all the solid white snow and get sad when it gets all messy and slushy. Jeff is probably going to be stranded at work as usual but I have gotten used to this from being a firemans wife for so long. I'm just glad I don't have to be at work like I used to every time there was going to be road hazards and spend the night. I have almost everything I want or need right here. I have both my girls, would be good to have my boys and their special ladies here if only for a little while, plenty to eat and if the power goes out my sweet husband made sure we would have some heat before he left. He is the only thing that would make this snow day perfect. After the girls said goodnight last night I got the bright idea to go outside like a little kid and play in the snow as it was falling. You know early enough my tracks would be covered up and no one would know I went out. Since I broke my foot a year ago and I am having so much trouble with my knee, no one wants me out in the slippery ice alone. Ha I'm a big girl I took the phone in case of a fall, and a camera just to prove later that I could do this all alone. But as usual when you do something you're not suppose to I got caught. Kelcy had forgotten something downstairs and was standing in the livingroom looking at me with that I caught you face when I walked in. She almost scared me to death since I thought everyone was upstairs in bed. In a way I wish we had this to last for a week or more, but if we can't I would still like to see the snow like this a little more often. The only down side for us is that we don't ever get Jeff home to play out in the snow with. :( My future daughter-in-law or daughter as I like to think of her, comes from Missouri and is used to seeing snow all winter and alot more than we ever get. She finds us kind of funny for running out for milk and bread. They keep the schools open and drive where they want to go. I guess for her this is just a dusting. lol But I love to see her laugh at all of us running around grabbing milk and bread. She is a sweetheart and a wonderful young woman.
The memories of the 1993 snow storm are still fresh in my mind and are some of the best snow memories I have. Alyssa was only 7 months old. We stayed with my mom because she never lost power in all the years I was growing up. And if she did what better company to be with. Anyway Jeff had to go in to work as soon as the flurries started and of course it was like moving to get all of a 7 month olds stuff together to keep her occupied for several days. When the snow started in full force in the middle of the night me and mom were sleeping on the pull out sofa watching James Spann and waiting to see what happened. The snow was blowing toward the front of the house. Now here is where you need to know a little about mom. She was very chlosterphobic and has always been afaid of just a little water. Well it started to thunder and lighten so mom runs to one of the windows at the front of the house and starts yelling that we are snowed in up to the windows. lol the snow had blown against the window and that was the impression you got but I was looking out the back and could see all the way across the yard. I don't think there was any look more funny than the look on her face when she realized the snow wasn't really that deep. lol By the way I don't think anything is prettier than a thunderstorm that snows. Call me crazy but with the lightening the sky would turn pink and it made the snow look a little pink too, just awesome. Hope my kids get to see it some day. I guess that snow is why Alyssa never gets really excited about snow. First thing when daylight got there I went out and dug a hole in the snow until I could see the ground and got Alyssa and stood her in it. Hahaha the snow came up to her shoulders. She hated it, and we have pictures to prove it. She may have the chance to go to college up north and the only complaint she has is that it snows up there and she is not crazy about having snow all winter. If I hadn't been there during labor and delivery I would swear this child is not mine. My child would be sitting on pins and needles to go north.
This is just one of many fun memories I have about snow days from the time of adulthood. I have alot more of less snow but huge fun with two people that I grew up with that I think of as brothers. Like being pulled out of a warm bed and carried out in the snow, set down and them running in the house and locking me out. Pneumonia as I look back on it the week after was well worth the memories and fun we shared. Oh and Ricky and Ronnie if you are reading this I still owe you one. lol
This is just a few good memories past and present the rest I will just let stay as memories. I hope to make alot more as my list of family members grow and I get to play like a kid again with my family. Kids now may have video games, computers and cell phones to keep them busy, but I plan on teaching them the fun you can have if you put all that away and have a true snow day. I mean really how many chances do you get to do that living in the south? Remember when you were a kid and pass on the fun, it's the only way we can keep snow days the way they used to be, because snow never changes only the way people play. I think I'll go out and get my snowballs ready to throw early. Nothing like getting that head start on the kids, they move faster than me. lol

Baby Shower invite NO WAY

by Tammy Hall Parker on Friday, February 11, 2011 at 10:42am

At any time you become offended by reading this you can always stop and leave my notes but I tend to speak my mind and sometimes feelings get hurt, but I think this needs to be said. Let me start off by saying that I know things happen. We were all teens with raging hormones and were confused about what to do about them. But with guidance and role models to follow most of us actually had planned adult pregnancies. I know this will probably tick some of my friends off and I don't know if some of you have been in a teen pregnancy situation, if you have I understand that you had a hard time but have still raised yourself and your child and it couldn't have been easy. But my question is have we given up on teaching kids that babies should NOT be having babies? That waiting for that part of your life to start after you are grown up enough to handle everything that comes with having a baby is the way it's suppose to be? This is my rant for today because my daughter recieved an invitation this week to a baby shower being held for a child having a baby. I do mean this is a child she is not old enough to have a job but she thought she was old enough to have sex. I know this little girl about to be a mother will need help getting the things all mothers need when they have a newborn and I don't think this newborn should suffer because its mother is not able to support it on her own but I will not let my child attend nor will I let my child send a gift to this child soon to be mom. I don't even understand the thought behind the friends, family or whoever these people are that are giving her the shower that they would invite another child. It's like saying, "Oh its ok to go out and have sex as a teenager because if you get pregnant everyone will give you cute things for the baby". I was raised in a household where being pregnant or getting someone pregnant should not be celebrated but lived with because the consequences would be felt soon enough when you would give birth and have to take over a new life. This is not the first shower invitation we have recieved for someone having a baby before graduation or even during their freshman year in high school. We have got to start talking to our kids about NOT having sex not just safe sex. I am tired of hearing about how cute so and so's new baby is and when I ask where did you see it I'm told that it is brought to school because no one was home to stay with it while the mom (child) came to school. I know I'm old and things have changed but very few girls got pregnant where I went to school and those that did were old enough to get their GED and get a job. Some attended school thanks to help from family, but as soon as school was out they had to go to work not out to party unsupervised and still not caring about possibly putting themselves in the situation of having another child. In high school where the word mommy begins dating should end until you grow up. Lets not leave daddy (child #2) out of the picture either. He needs to step up to the plate along with his family who taught him to keep his business to himself and help child #1 and her parents raise this baby. These shows on t.v. make it look so dramatic and that is what alot of teenagers crave is drama. After all that is all you hear in high school is drama, drama, drama. Having a baby when you are a child is alot more than drama and friends going aww when you say your pregnant. Childrens bodies are not developed enough to carry a child. Children having children is dangerous to both mother and child. They need to be told these things before becoming sexually active. Most teen mothers have serious difficulties during pregnancy and most babies do not make it to term. In some senerios the baby comes early and ends up in a NICU unit fighting for its life. Then when they come home some of them spend the rest of thier life with learning disabilities or health issues. Some are lucky enough to carry to term and the babies are fine which I wish were the case with all babies.
We should all talk with our children both male and female. Let the males know that it is not just the girls problem but theirs too. Tell the girls about all the things that can happen when they become sexually active. Tell them the difference between love and lust. I want all children to grow up and have a chldhood to remember not have to remember how hard it was to go through school carrying a baby or an STD or both.
I hope the child who sent the invitation to my daughter is one of the lucky ones and I wish them both a good life. I'm afraid they have a long road ahead of them both growing up together. Please don't think that my children have anything to say about my opinion this is my own thoughts LEAVE THEM OUT of any problems you have with this post. If you have a problem tell me NOT them. This is my opinion and I speak my mind and at least for now I have the freedom of speech. I did not make you read this you could have stopped at anytime you felt offended as I said in the beginning. All I intended was to make mothers and fathers out there stop and think. When your child is out on a date do you know where they are who they are with and what they are doing and have you given them all the information they need to make their decisions? I hope so because I love you all or you would not be on my friend list and I only want your children to have a wonderful carefree childhood without worrying about grown up stuff. They have to deal with that soon enough anyway.

Happy Valentines Day Jeff

by Tammy Hall Parker on Monday, February 14, 2011 at 5:20am

Soulmates

When you find your soulmate,
You find it hard to breath.
Because with every breath you take,
You breath for two you see.

For every heartbeat taken,
For every tear you cry,
You just know without a doubt,
Without him you would die.

As time surely passes,
As you grow old and tired with age,
Your soulmate sits beside you,
He always stays the same.

Then one day inside the mirror,
A stranger you will see.
But standing there beside you,
Your souldmate will always be.

New Beginnings

by Tammy Hall Parker on Friday, March 25, 2011 at 1:14pm

It's Spring and with it come all the changes you see this time of year. The leaves come out from hiding and the flowers start to bloom. Families start to have new beginning too. So many things happening and so many things moving so fast. It's like a whirlwind has hit the house and I wonder where it will all end up. My oldest son Zach will be an Easter baby this year, I say baby because he will always be my baby, but from time to time his birthday falls on Easter. Then Alyssa has her senior prom the end of April. We have picked out her dress and she just glows in it. Then we get to look forward to her new beginning, she will graduate May 27th. She is already learning that being grown up carries alot of responsibility and as all teenagers do she is learning some decisions are really hard to make. Now she knows why I wanted her to enjoy every drop of being a teenager and not try to go out and be a grown up there is always time for that later. She has always been responsible enough that we didn't feel like we had to test that by making her get a job as long as she was reasonable about her wants and needs. After graduation she will start college and have a job and all the responsibility will be hers, so I hope she enjoyed being a child as long as she could. But just a week after graduation comes a huge day for my oldest son Zach and his beautiful fiance Beth. They will get married and start their life together. They will have alot to learn about married life as time goes on but I know the two of them will make it through all the tough times and will live the best times to their fullest. Zach may be lucky getting married to such a wonderful person, but I think we are the lucky ones I could not have asked for a better person to love my son enough to put up with us. She is warm, friendly, compassionate, kind and loving and we all have loved her from the moment we met her.
Where have my babies gone? It seems like just the other day I was rocking them in my arms and dreaming about all the things they may grow up to be. Now they are starting their new lives. Their new beginnings. Now its time to start thinking about what will happen when Kelcy is out on her own. The house sure is getting empty fast. That is why Jeff and I have started to think about what we will do. His retirement is alot closer than I thought a few months ago. When the girls finish college it will be time for our new beginning. When I was 18 I started looking down a road with alot of twists, turns and bends. Now a new road is being built and I am going to see where it goes, Jeff by my side and new beginnings for the both of us. But it doesn't matter where the road leads as long as we are together and our family is happy and they know that we will leave a trail on the road we take so they can always catch up to us if they need us. But isn't why there are chapters in books, so they can combine everything that is going on into one long book? Each one of us is a chapter and we each start it off with a new beginning.

Things I Owe My Mother

by Tammy Hall Parker on Saturday, May 7, 2011 at 7:33am

With Mother's Day coming I thought it appropriate to recognize what mother said and how knowledgeable she (is) was.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I
just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your
neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER ...
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP .
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR ..
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow
up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favourite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out
just like you

Like I said in my status the last few days, my sister sent me this in an email. There was no way to get is all in before Mother's Day. Feel free to use any or all of these it just gives us memories and fun to think back on. At some point and time our Mom's have used any or all of these sayings and I know we have said some of them to our children.

Tribute to My Mom for Mother's Day

by Tammy Hall Parker on Saturday, May 7, 2011 at 8:46am

In my eyes my mom could do no wrong. She was a beautiful lady that had so many wonderful qualities, I only hope that as I grow older I become just like her. They say you grow up to be alot like your mom's and if this is true I can only smile because that will be the greatest gift she ever gave me. I remember once when a man came by Gus's where she worked before the store opened. He asked if he could do some work in exchange for a meal. Mom told him he didn't need to work she would buy him whatever he wanted to eat and she did. She never expected to get anything in return for the many kind things she did that no one ever knew about. If she knew someone in need she would give them whatever she could. I tried to instill this in my girls and I hope I did. A friend of mine told me of a mission family that had just moved in down the street from mom. They weren't going to have much of a Christmas because they didn't have money for gifts for the kids or a tree to put them under. Mom said 'lets go shopping' so we did. By that evening we had pooled our money and bought a tree, ornaments, lights and gifts for the kids. We wrapped everything with tags on when to open each gift. When the family left for dinner we pulled up to the back door and unloaded everything. They never knew who left them but we all drove by late that evening and could see them decorating the tree and smiling. My friend later told me that she didn't know who had done it but that the kids just knew Santa had come early. This is just one of many things my mom did for others. I think that is why I have always taught the girls to give from their heart and do it in secret it's so much better that way.
My mom was always had patience,(which I am still working on) she always said that things would either work out or they wouldn't. She didn't have to have an answer right away she would give you time to think about it first. If I was running behind schedule she would always say,'slow down we'll get there.'
She was a fantastic listener which is what I miss the most. If one of the kids was having a hard time in school or something wasn't going right she was always there to listen and help me through it. I always found it funny though, if it was Jeff I was mad at she always took his side over mine. I guess she found all the qualities in him that made me love him too. She never told me what to do about my problems but help me figure them out myself. Amazing it always came out the way she thought it should anyway.
She loved to have fun. Her favorite around here with all the little nooks and crannies to hide in was to jump out and scare the pants off of you. If she was in a playful mood look out eventually she would get around to either poking fun at you, scaring you, or just making you laugh. Thanks for the wrinkles mom and the shorter life span since some of your pranks took 10 years off my life. : ) But when she laughed she didn't just laugh you could hear the bubble of laughter that was inside her.
She gave me the gift of loving Spring and Fall. Working in the yard, feeding the birds. She would buy ferns to hang on the front porch just so the birds would nest in them. She never watered the poor plants she said the only reason she bought them is so the poor little things as she put it would have a place to nest. She would sit outside for hours just watching the the baby birds get fed and the squirrels play in the yard. She enjoyed being out in the yard too. In the Spring she would pitter around with the flowers or watch me cut grass. I don't think you ever get old enough for your mother to think you can cut grass without her watching out for you. Working in the yard last week I kept hearing her in my mind saying,'now Tammy don't get to hot and make yourself sick. You need to sit down and rest a minute.' That was just like her. She loved working in the yard so much she even wanted to go outside in the fall and rake leaves even when she was walking with a cane. She was a strong and strong willed lady my mom.
She was so very loving. When I hurt my ankle in '09 she took care of me and let me sleep in her bed since I couldn't get up the stairs. I can't remember the last time we shared a bed. I should have been taking care of her but there she was taking care of me, and I don't know how I would have made it without her. Me and the girls always got alot of hugs and kisses in the last few years. She would never go to sleep until everyone was home even if Kelcy had a late night game to play in the band. Mom always wanted a hug and a kiss from each of us. She said she couldn't sleep without it. Thanks mom, I now hold my kids a little tighter and a little longer and give each of them a kiss when they leave the house and before bed every night. You also taught me that I should do this every chance I get and always tell them how much they mean to me.
She taught me about her growing up and how to conserve everything. She grew up during the depression and times were hard. I didn't know until she told me that you had to have tokens to buy anything back then. Without the tokens you could have money but you couldn't spend it. She taught me that pennies turn into dollars so don't just throw them out but save them for a rainy day.
To sum things up my mom was strong, wise, loving, caring, and had a beautiful heart, and a smile that would light up the room and make you feel good right up to the end. They say you grow up to be like your mother and if this is true then I am the luckiest person in the world to have had her for mine. I only hope I can be half the mom to my kids as she was to me. They learned alot from her and none of the time we spent together will ever be forgotten, just missed. My mom let very few pictures of her ever be taken I am disappointed in that. She was beautiful and I want my gradchildren to see just how beautiful she was. I have looked back at all the birthdays and special moments in my childrens lives and realize I was always behind the camera because of one silly reason or another. She also taught me that no matter how you look or so what if its a bad hair day, get in that picture with your kids they will look back and treasure it when you're gone.
I love you mom and I will never forget the smile on your face, the touch of your hand or the feel of your arms around me telling me goodnight. You will always be a part of us and all the generations to come.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Small idea huge chore

by Tammy Hall Parker on Sunday, May 15, 2011 at 7:40am

I love working outdoors. For one thing I find that it is good therapy for me I can put my earbuds in turn the music up as loud as I want to and be alone. Most of you already know I REALLY DON'T work well with others. Anyway earbuds in, music turned up loud I decided to tackle something that I see outside my back window everytime I look outside, a fence covered in honeysuckle. I know this is my fault I have let this go about 5 yrs and should have found a way to keep ahead of it, well I didn't. Now I pay the price. Well I have thought about it I'm not sure who paid the price for me working outside all week because you see when certain songs come on I tend to sing along and I have been told all my life by my mom and my kids that I can't carry a tune in a bucket. But I figured what I couldn't hear the neighbors could ignore. I'm sure by now they are thinking I should be invited to sing at all their special events. :) Actually I think that is why it rained Friday they all got together and prayed for mother nature to make the noise stop. lol But I decided to start where the honeysuckle did, at the corner of the fence. So armed with a pair of garden shears to cut back the small wild hedge that was growing and some kind of other clippy thingamabob I started to pull this creature off the fence. Oh and I did bring out the garden hoe since I saw something move and thought I may have to kill a snake to keep from having a heart attack. It turned out that this stuff has grown for so long it had roots as big around as my little finger so the thingamabob came out and what I couldn't pull up from the ground got cut. Let me put a note in here. If you like to do yard work always get a thingamabob to help out I found tons of uses for this thing although I'm not sure I used it the right way. You can't just walk into Lowe's or Home Depot and ask for it by the name thingamabob btw but I can describe it. It has two long handles like hedge clippers but at the end it is curved like a hook and when sharpened well it will cut almost anything. Monday I worked none stop at the fence and only got half of the honeysuckle off but you have to under stand this is a long length of fence that it has covered. So Tuesday as soon as the girls went to school I started on it again but after seeing the pile of weeds getting bigger I thought maybe it was time to go buy a wheel barrow first. Another note if you have grown up in the south you know this is really called a wheel barrel not barrow but use the northern term when looking on the internet to find one in your local do it yourself store. So part of the day was spent at Home Depot in Alyssa's truck because everyone who knows me knows Home Depot is a dangerous place to send me alone. I love it there the smell of sawdust, tools that I can't work but would love to try out and of course the things I didn't know I needed till I saw them. But I did control myself this time I only got my wheel 'barrel' and some weed and grass killer. Yes grass killer. We have a storage building close to the fence and I don't ever want to have to go behind there again. When I got home I started on the vines again spraying killer junk as I went. Then loaded the truck and went to the dump. After this I called it a day and took a shower in Dawn since I wasn't sure that all I had pulled was not poision oak. Alyssa came home and was very disappointed (not) to find out I would need her truck at least one more day, so she would have to suffer driving my car to school. Jeff was off Wed. so he helped out by cutting tree limbs that needed cutting. In case you have forgotten back at the beginning of this I said I DO NOT WORK WELL WITH OTHERS. Even though I do appreciate his help. We carried the first load to the dump and started cutting some more when the truck was half loaded for the second time Jeff was working on getting the steps out of the pool and Alyssa hears the limb truck one block over. Oh and note to self if you are suppose to pick Kelcy up from school watch the time. I didn't think the limb truck would be around anytime soon. I mean it's hard enough to get them out here when we haven't had storm damage I figured we wouldn't see them until sometime at least till the end of June. So when I sent Alyssa to pick up Kelcy I told her to go ask the guy if he would be kind enough to come over to our street and pick up tree limbs. Not a happy man but he did show up. One less trip to the dump accomplished. Called it quitting time for the day. Thursday rolls around and I find that I have misplaced something very important so I tear the entire house apart looking for it. Worked constantly on that. Finally found it around midnight. Finally some sleep. Kinda glad it rained Friday all I did was vacuum the pool and go shopping with Alyssa. It was great. Saturday around 1:00 I decided to close my eyes on the couch for just a few minutes. Lets just say when I woke up at 5:30 the kids said "well at least we know you've been breathing the whole time it was hard to tell." Thanks for checking on me girls. The house is not paid for and neither are the cars there is no estate to inherit so make sure I'm still alive next time unless you want to do everything around here yourself. Now put those raisins in your cookies and eat them. lol I still have alot to do before graduation. Now the school board has decided I should get up 1/2 hour earlier to get the girls off to school to make up stupid snow days not to mention did they even think about the seniors that are going to college having to get registered after school and go to orientation? They are already messing with a really tight schedule I have around here and I'm sure other parents do too. I mean good grief who decided to start college two days before kids even graduate around here? So here we go starting tomorrow off on another week long adventure. I only hope I make it until graduation. Last note to self, remember to get with Julie about feeding the animals while we have fun in the sun, don't want to come home and find the pets dead. If I only had time to teach the smarter one to use the cell phone. I love my life. :)

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Memories

by Tammy Hall Parker on Friday, December 10, 2010 at 6:03am

Have you ever opened a new box of crayons and immediatly thought of elementary school? All those huge blackboards with the long erasers that you would have to go out and beat against a tree on Friday to get all the chalk out? Having a coat (cloak) room at the back so you could hang up your backpacks and jackets? Sitting on the floor to clean out your desk so you could get out of a little school work? I remember our school had hardwood flooring and a long slanted hall to the lunch room. The first week of school just after the floors had been waxed we would leave our shoes in class so we could get a running start to see who could slide the farthest down the hall. lol You always had rice at least once a week that was so sticky they scooped it out with an ice cream scoop yuck. And always without fail you had soup and grilled cheese or peanut butter sandwiches on Friday. Hey they had to put the leftover of all that yuck somewhere, and someone said throw it in a pot cover it with tomato sauce, give them a sandwich and maybe they will eat it if they don't know what's in it. But we always knew. Hey how about the old memograph copies that always smelled like alcohol when they were first brought in for you to take a test or color that masterpiece laying just under the surface of your impressionable little mind just waiting to bust out? The elementary school I went to you were always excited to get to the fifth or sixth grade because this meant you were old enough to sit out under the shade trees in front of the school and have class on pretty spring or fall days. Back then there were only 30 kids in each grade and you were all friends because each other is all you had. You had one teacher all day everyday and if she (and yes I mean she, there was no such thing as a male teacher until my sixth grade year) was ever sick and took a day off you never had work to do so every time the teacher coughed you silently hoped she was coming down with something she thought she should stay home with. Oh! don't forget Halloween carnivals. Wasn't it nicer to call them that than fall festivals? You had a birthday party everytime someone had a birthday with cake and soft drinks and then summer started to come along. There would be one more party everyone looked forward to and that was Sring Carnival. You always had the P.E. teacher signing kids up to play ball or to see who could throw a ball the farthest or the long jump to see who could jump farther. Back then we played outside on playgrounds with swing sets and red clay and when we played ball it was for fun. We made up games to play we didn't set around talking in a gym on bleachers about the newest video game. If we were lucky and I was we had a best friend close by that we could come home from school and go outside and ride a bike until it got to dark to see or play under the street light in front of the house until you were made to come inside. Now kids don't make up game to play they just want the newest one on the market they can play on t.v. you wonder what would happen if they had to use their imagination for just one week. Give them nothing but the wonderful smell of crayons, a coloring book, a piece of rope, a red ball, a large yard and no t.v. or cell phones for just one week. Don't let them sit in the house. Make them go outside and find something to do with their best friend besides sitting and talking or listening to an ipod. Chances are they live just around the corner from someone they go to school with and they don't even know it. When did schools get so over populated that we had to start changing classes instead of the teachers having to learn all the subjects well enough to keep the same students all day so they could form life long friendships? Chances are that everyone reading this knew every person in their graduating class along with who they were best friends with and what they did with their spare time. Now kids are lucky if they know a few out of the hundreds graduating at the same time. We all tried to stay in touch some did some didn't and we lost a few that were near and dear to us along the way. Memories are funny things. I have been looking at stuff that is on the web. Yes I am guilty of using it instead of the encyclopedia. No one can tell you why you really retain certain memories. They know that there are triggers that will set a memory off, but they can't tell you why somethings are in such detail and others are faded with time. I guess if they knew the answer to that they would find a cure for altzheimers. They do all agree that you can trigger a memory with a smell or a sound or a sight of something familiar that is tied to a person, place, or thing. I started looking into this when recently I lost my memory for certain details at a turning point in my life. I have read where the mind blocks things we can't handle and gives them back to us piece by piece as we can process the information and handle it better. But yet there are good memories that are painful to remember but you are told they are there to help you move on in life. The mind is a strange and complex thing that even the best of scientist can only guess how most of it works. They know the parts that control different functions but they can't tell you why they do it or if it gets damaged how much it will remember (ah memories again) how to do again. Maybe it's one of God's many little secrets that he doesn't want us to ever know. I only know one thing for sure I want to keep the ones I have, get back the ones I recently lost because no matter the reason losing memory is hard to deal with, and make new ones along the way. I like the memories crayons give me, the smell, and sights of a beautiful spring or fall day, and yes, when I am able to, going outside to play even if it is grown up stuff now. My only wish is that instead of memories I could carry along the people I have lost along the way that enjoyed the same things. Some of my best friends and family. But I try to make new memories with my kids, and tell them just how much fun you can have without technology. Wonder in 40 some odd years from now what their memories will bring them and whether or not they will read things like this and feel they missed out on a simpler time in life or if they will think our youth was harder for the lack of technology. I wonder if sounds or sights or smells will bring back memories or if their brains are being programmed different now. I just hope they have good memories of time spent with family and friends. I hope they continue to make wonderful memories and retain things they find important in life. I have way too many special memories to mention here and some are mean't to be kept just by me. I will make more and some will be happy and some sad, but the most important thing is there will be more happy than sad I'm sure. Just try one thing get a new box of crayons it's worth the cost and take a deep breath as you open them, I'm sure you will remember some wonderful times. Hey and since you bought the crayons go ahead and pick up a coloring book no one will be looking. lol

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