I remember back when I first found out I was going to have Alyssa. I was so excited I could hardly wait to start getting a nursery ready. I painted the room this awful primary yellow color on the top and a horrible primary green on the bottom and then put the cutest border around the whole thing that had teddy bears holding what else but primary colored beach balls all the way around the room. Looking back my friends were right that room is probably why she wears contacts today. Those colors were probably more than her little eyes could handle. But is was so sweet to buy baby stuff and wash it and put it away to wait on her to get here. We moved not long after she was born to and it was still an exciting time to put the nursery back together in a different house. (without the colors) I hung up all the little frilly dresses and carried in all the toys. Everything except one toy she called Baby. Baby is still very special. Alyssa never went anywhere without Baby. Granny bought Baby for her before she was born. She took to it right away. She had surgery to put tubes in her ears twice. Both times baby went into surgery with her. Anytime she was sick Baby always stayed in her arms. Baby was one of those toys that can't be washed so you can only imagine what Baby started to look like over the years. I mean Baby went on vacations, to the store, to daycare. One night baby was accidentally left at the daycare and we had to call someone and beg them to open up long enough for us to get Baby or there would be no sleep that night. Baby was accidentally again left when we were running late leaving Chattanooga coming home from vacation. Alyssa was excited by the trip and didn't notice Baby was missing until she became sleepy around Gadsden. Yes we pulled over and called the hotel. One of the cleaning ladies said she had found Baby under the couch and saw how much "loving" Baby had been given and put her back knowing someone would come looking for her. They sent her UPS to the house. Alyssa did not leave the front door for 3 days waiting for her return. Then there was the day that I went to pick Alyssa up from daycare and she was screaming and crying worse than I had ever seen her in my life. You would have thought she had seen a family member or a pet get run over by a car. It was almost worse. She had accidentally dropped Baby in a bucket of Pine Sol water around lunch time and the daycare lady wouldn't give her back she put her in a plastic bag and laid her in the window sill. Alyssa could see her but thought they were going to throw her away. I know you aren't suppose to let a child have a plastic bag but when I walked in I gave her Baby plastic and all. She immediately stopped crying. We took Baby home and put her in the washer to get rid of what we could of the germs. Of course this was done by me holding Alyssa and the button to keep the washer running so she could see Baby the whole time. The hard part was while she sat in front of the dryer with her head laying against the door humming the word Baby over and over again until we got her out. I think it was as traumatic for me as it was her. But the reunion was wonderful all was right in the world again. Baby still took trips and went everywhere. It was hard to explain when Baby couldn't join the first grade with Alyssa but we promised she could sit on the couch and wait on her to come home. And she did everyday without fail. Then the call at work came from Granny one night. Baby had been loved to the point her head came off and Alyssa was crying her eyes out. She cried herself to sleep holding Baby's head and body close to her and was waiting on me when I walked in the door the next morning to make everything ok. I was able to talk her into letting me take Baby with me to work that night by telling her Baby was going to the hospital to be fixed. I can't sew and by this time Baby was in pretty bad shape, but I spent most of the night between calls stitching that dolls head back on. It was so delicate by this time and so nasty looking I stopped by the store and bought it a preemie outfit to wear hoping to save what was left of the poor thing. When I got home I explained to Alyssa that Baby was very fragile and would have to have special care from now on. That is would be best if she wore the outfit that way if she got dirty we could wash it without Baby having to go into the washer. This seemed to make her happy and it must have because Baby still wears that outfit today. From then on even though Baby slept in the bed with Alyssa for many more years she was always placed on a pillow to herself and if company ever came over Baby was always in a crib that was made for her.
Baby has been as much a part of my life as she has been Alyssa's. I knew that it was special to Granny because Alyssa loved something she gave her so very much. Baby has always been special to me because when my daughter needed someone she trusted to be with her in surgeries in areas where I wasn't allowed to be, Baby would be the last "person" she saw when she went to sleep and the first one there when she woke up. I guess somewhere in my mind I have always believed as long as baby was close by Alyssa wasn't far away. I had always figured that as Alyssa went to college and got her life underway Baby would always be here waiting for her to return until she married and moved away for good, then she would take Baby to her new home and share her with her family. That all changed this weekend. I was standing in Alyssa's bedroom at her new apartment and as she was unpacking she gently took Baby out of the box. Yes, I cried. I cried hard. Alyssa has grown up and moved out and I guess that means Baby has finally grown up too. They both have a new home and Baby has a special place of honor in Alyssa's new home. It's really silly but I never knew I was growing as attached to that little stuffed doll as much as the little girl that gave her all the loving care for the last 19 years. In my heart I know its not really attachment to Baby but what she has represented all these years that I will miss. My little girl has grown up. I know holding Baby hostage is not what would keep her coming home, its the love she gets here. But the house sure feels emptier this morning.
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