A Challenge to Take a Look Around and Change

There are times in your life when you have to stand back and look at your surroundings. You need to take stock of the life you have and the people you share it with. Are you happy with the people in your life? Do they add to your life, or try to drag you down? Many times we spend our days looking at other people and trying to measure up to what they think we should be or we look at their life and think we would be happier if only... But you should never measure your happiness by what others think. You shouldn't look at others and think that you would be happier if only you were more like them. Every ones life is different and we all have our own unique struggles. Even people who always seems happy and content on the outside has something in their life they wish they could change, or a battle that they deal with. This morning I was talking to a couple of ladies in our Sunday school class and I'm not sure how we got on the subject, but they were talking about how they didn't keep in touch with an old friend because that person always complained about how bad their life was. I have been guilty of being a complainer, I think we all have at some point in our lives, but I would like to think there are more times that I try to look at the up side of things. I have always been one of those people though that tends to attract people that want to tell me how horrible their life is and how life has been so unfair to them. This tends to rub off on you after a while. Maybe I walk around with a sign on me that says, tell me all your problems. I think friends should be able to tell each other anything. You should be able to help each other through hard times, but also be able to have fun times and enjoy each others company. Now there is a fine line between helping each other through hard times and listening to your friend complain about their spouse. If you are having problems with your spouse and you have done everything you can to take care of it between you and your spouse a friend can be a shoulder to lean on. But you should always lift your spouse up in front of others and I admit this is something I am working on. I have always been the wife that teases my husband in public but until recently I didn't realize that this wasn't the way God would want me to behave towards my husband in public. My husband is a wonderful man. He has always made sure that his family has had everything we needed and he works very hard for a living. He is a man that has put God first in his life and is a wonderful example to his children of what a true Godly husband should be. We laugh and tease each other and have always been so comfortable doing that together until I never truly looked at how others may view the things we say about each other in public. They don't know the things we have gone through together or the fact that our teasing is just that and nothing more. As I have thought about people I talk to and listen to I have realized that there are many people out there that constantly complain about their spouse. How they don't listen or they leave things laying around the house. We all have our faults and the last thing we need is someone calling them to our attention or worse yet telling everyone we know about our bad habits.
Now here is another one of those pesky challenges I throw out from time to time. Remember I am a work in progress and these are things I am challenging myself to do as well. This week take a good look around at the company you keep. Do your friends constantly complain? Do they tear their spouse down in front of others? Are you one of those people? This week when you hear a person complaining try to change the subject to something more pleasant. If they are tearing their spouse down and pointing out all the things they can't do right, don't just sit and listen. This only encourages the behavior. Instead try to point out that this is the person that they chose to spend their life with and ask would they really trade all those bad habits for a life without that person? A marriage is always worth fighting for and bad habits or little things that irritate you would never cross your mind if that person wasn't in your life. I have never heard a spouse that has lost their other half complain about a dirty sock in the floor or a burned dinner. The only things that were ever remembered were the good things. This week start a new habit. Only talk about the good things when talking about your spouse with others. Because other people will remember the bad things when all you can ever remember were the good. Isn't that how we all want to be remembered? For the good things?

Less Is More and God Is Great

Monday morning again? Wow! Seems like there is no weekend anymore. Me and the girls spent all day Saturday doing an unplanned cleaning of our storage building. I would have never guessed there was that much junk to get rid of. Happily though a local charity is picking all of the unused things up tomorrow and I will have more space. Space is only temporary though, as you know anytime you clean out something called a storage building that only means there are other things that are waiting to go inside. I am really having to give this a lot of thought. I mean if you aren't using it why would you want to store it? My parents never had a storage building. If the Christmas decorations didn't fit into a small closet then we didn't get any new ones. If the clothes got over filled we threw things out or donated them. Why have we gotten so attached to things. Our leader in Sunday school yesterday was talking about our attachments to worldly things. He talked about the fact that we tend to hold so tight to things and that is all they are "things." When we die God is not going to look at us and say, hey you had a huge amount of things on earth, good job. We need to keep our eye on the prize. We need to hold on tight to God's word and give away the worldly things that do nothing but clutter our daily lives. I have been guilty of holding onto things for sentimental reasons when really the memories these things invoke  is where the sentiment really lies. I can take pictures to remember details and still keep the memories attached. I also hold onto things and let them crowd my life thinking about that big yard sale I can have. I want to ask you if you have ever had a yard sale that in the end you could look at all the work you put into it and thought the money you got out of it was worth the trouble and the back ache? I know I haven't. I have decided that things must go. I am taking this one area at a time and calling the charity truck as needed to get these things out of my house. Some of this comes from the fact that I am claustrophobic and I have a reasonable sized house for our family size, but I am slowly being pushed out of my house by all of the things inside it. Now don't get me wrong I am not close to hoarder standards by no means. My family would have thrown me out by now if I were, but I just like everything to be open and airy.
Sunday was a really wonderful day. Hubby was home to go to church with us and the worship was off the chain as our pastor likes to say. I'll say it here that you have to have faith. You have to believe and you have to ask for God's help in your daily life. If you have kept up with my blog you know that I had a partial knee replacement at the first of the year. This makes it almost impossible for me to sit for long periods and walk without pain or get on my knees at the alter and be able to get up without a lot of help. I wanted to go to the alter Sunday because I could feel God moving and I just asked him if He would give my knee the ability to move well enough to get there and get down as low as possible to talk to Him and be able to get up on my own. People let me tell you if you didn't already know, God Is Great. Not only was I able to get down on my knees, but I could feel God telling me that He can do anything if I only ask and it is His will. God has been so good. My knee hasn't given me any trouble since yesterday. I have gone up and down stairs like a normal person and all the glory goes to the one and only God. Praise goes to Him. I just put this in to let you know that if you don't have a personal relationship with God you are missing out on the greatest relationship you can ever have. I have been truly blessed.
Well, I still feel the chunk it all mode going so I guess I need to get up from here and start chucking stuff out. I have even gotten the girls in a lets chunk it all mood. Hooray!!! If you can get kids in this mode then you have defeated half your work. I hope this encourages you to look around at your stuff and really think about what you want your life to be like. Would you rather live crowded in your own home or would you rather dust less stuff, vacuum less furniture and dodge less corners?

An Addiction? Only If It Means a Trip to Malibu

It's a new day and I think the sickness has finally left the house. Yesterday I was actually able to get my housework caught up with. My energy is back and I spent some time on the stationary bike. It may not seem like I did much for some people, but for someone my size I think I did a pretty good job. Stayed within my calorie count and then rode the bike for 34 minutes at a rapid pace. I haven't added any resistance yet since I got sick shortly after starting this diet but starting Monday I may need prayers because I will increase the resistance by one every week. I'm keeping my chubby little fingers crossed that I really make a lifestyle change this time and not just a temporary change.

It is suppose to get to cold to leave my plants out this weekend so I started trying to find places to put them inside. This is no easy chore. I have a peace lily that measures a good 6 ft. in diameter. I can't believe I have been able to keep this thing alive for 3 years much less that it has grown into this monster. I love it though. It was a gift given to us when my Mom passed away and I do give it extra attention to keep it alive. I have smaller ones and even a strange tree type plant we call baby George. The reason it is baby George is because it is a rooting from big George. Mother got big George in 1998 when my Dad passed away and she kind of let him have his way when he started to grow. This thing went from being in a 10 inch pot to having to be wheeled around on a cart in one of the biggest pots we could find. He took a drastic cut back just before Mom got sick and then just king of blossomed even bigger. After Mom passed we had a good rooting from him and I didn't have anyplace to keep him and the peace lily so I gave him to our neighbor. She love him and I know that she takes as good of care of him as I would have. He had been around so long it was like adopting out a pet you had forever and just couldn't take care of anymore.

After trying to find a place for all the plants I have taken a big notice in the fact that even though we have a good size house we have crammed way too much junk inside. I usually go through a spell early in the year where I declare to everyone in the house that stuff has got to go. With my knee surgery I wasn't able to make that huge declaration this year...until now. Last night before going to bed I sat everyone down and said I wanted them to just take a look around. They all agreed that we have collected more things than we need and it is time to start moving this junk outta here. We looked at a couple of places to start. We could clean all the left over yard sale things out of the building or start by cleaning out the attic. The way I look at it is that this will do nothing for the household overflow. Except give us more room to store more junk and keep us from throwing more away. I told everyone since they worked it would have to be done on a Saturday and I would find one Saturday this month that we could all get together and throw stuff away. I'm not sure I can wait that long so today I am going to try and start making a dent in my part of the clutter. When I get in these moods it's always good if I have a couple of days to take care of everything. I tend to spend the first day making more mess than I clean. It is really hard to explain to someone when they walk in on Armageddon that it is a work in progress for the good. I'll have to take pictures of the working in progress because without seeing what is going on you would never understand. Most people may go through things as they take them out of the area and throw them away. I am one of those people who likes to see all of it laid out as I walk through with a garbage bag picking up. This of course would lead the city to rope my house in crime scene tape and deny access to the house as a danger zone. I wouldn't blame them I get kind of scared myself as I start stepping over things and having to crawl from closets. But it is such a sense of accomplishment to see the project completed. Of course I do usually call someone and let them know what I am doing so if I go missing they know the last place I was headed and if I am knocked unconscious they may be able to dig through to me before I die. You may be laughing now but just wait and see pictures. If I have the guts to post them. Sometimes this sort of thing is just to traumatic to leave evidence behind.

I admit it. To some degree I am a hoarder. I think I said this before, but they say the first step in getting help is admitting you have a problem. Yes, my name is Tammy and I have a problem, well not a problem but some serious issues with stuff. I have to fight the urge to go to yard sales because I just know there is the perfect something out there, with a can't beat it price, that I didn't know I needed just waiting for me. I have picked up so many things that way just to find myself donating them to charity or selling them at my own yard sale. Have you ever passed a yard sale and thought you could just hear this great bargain calling to you. I mean it can be just a sign in the middle of the highway and you just know that if you don't go you will miss out on the next great million dollar item that can be picked up for a few pennies. As I sit here hanging my head I realize that yes this is an addiction. I wonder if they cure something like this at those resort addiction programs I keep seeing advertised on television? If so, sign me up. Yep I am a yard sale addict and I need a spa centered, island addiction center to get me well. Just remember I may be prone to several relapses over time as I come back home to reality and start seeing those neon pieces of construction paper taped to flimsy sticks stating I am missing out on something big. For now it is Friday and I promise not to leave the house so that temptation doesn't reach me until I have at least made a dent in last years magnificent yard sale finds. The truck for the local charity runs here on Tuesday so wish me luck. If you don't hear from me just know that somewhere in the middle of a pile of things in the house I have probably fallen and I can't get up, and no one has come home and had time to find me yet. Maybe I should open a window and get a flare gun. Hmmm.

In God We Trust

I sit here this morning thinking about the last few days. Everyone in the house has been sick. It seems like we just can't get rid of what ever this is going around. It has left me watching a lot of news. I am not the best when it comes to paying attention to the government and all that goes on. To be honest I have always voted the way I felt would be best for the things to get done that needed doing but figured once that was over there wasn't a whole lot I could do to change what happened. I still feel that way. I mean there are people up there with more money to spend than I have and no matter who you put in office they are going to put their vote where the money is. Here we are though less than 24 hours until the government will default on everything it owes. This has never happened in the history of our country so there is no precedence for it. No one really knows what will happen. There are people giving out bits and pieces of what they think will happen but can the really know if we have never been there? I mean if you don't pay for your house they foreclose and take your house. I know a country is a bigger challenge to foreclose on but could it happen? My family was born a US citizen. We have had family and friends who fought for this country. How can one man so easily cause enough discourse with the congress to give all of that away? Why wasn't all the spending stopped long ago. I'm not sure what they spent all of the money on and I don't know that anyone will ever know. Think about this though. Our forefathers had much less than we have but they were happy, raised families with better values than most have now and they were not in debt to anyone. I love my technology as much as the next person, but is it worth borrowing more than we could ever foresee paying back just to have?
My daughter traveled to Ecuador. See lived in very sparse conditions and spent her days with people who had very little. She saw God's hand on these people as they went through their daily lives and saw that he provided what they needed. The key word is needed. Everyone has wants. But God sees to our NEEDS. I admit I wanted to take over and help provide some of our needs last summer by growing a garden. I had borrowed a tiller that refused to crank. I had work done on it and tried everything I could to get that thing running. Finally I surprised my daughter instead of saying a bunch of the words I would have used in the past I just sat down and prayed. I told God that I was trying to do my part to help my family save some money and have fresh vegetables on the table every night. All I asked was that if it was meant to be would he please just help that tiller crank so that I could till the earth He provided and plant the seeds that He provided. I would provide the work and the water and fertilizer it took to help it grow. I got my answer the tiller never cranked, the garden never got planted and I finally just went to the store to eat. But, God also knew that we couldn't afford a large water bill and He knew that He was planning a drought last summer.
The only thing I can do about everything this country is going through is just pray and leave it to God. I take certain precautions I guess because my Mom lived through the depression and I have had that get prepared mode ingrained in me. God says 365 times in the Bible, Do Not Fear. God today I will not fear. It is in Your hands and I leave my trust in you.
Times may get hard on you just remember that God has it under control. Get to know Him and put your trust in Him.

Fighting Against Chubby Finger Syndrome And Winning!

No, I didn't die but I there were times yesterday that I wished I could have left my body. Wow! this junk that is going around is awful. You don't really have any symptoms just a tickle in your throat and it will be a little sore, but it will put you down like a tranquilizer to a tiger. I went to the doctor and this time I think I was the worst looking thing sitting in the office. People were trying to avoid me, hehehe a taste of my own medicine. See it is true what goes around comes around. I couldn't blame them I didn't want to be around me either.
If anything good could come out of a doctors visit it really did. I got on the scale to find out I am a total of 8 pounds gone and dropped 1 point on my BMI. Hold on while I do a little celebration dance.
Ok. That done, now I know you are thinking, well she has been sick and not eating, HA you don't know me. When I am sick I eat more that when I am well. Mostly because I crave comfort food and it is a lot easier to snack or use the excuse of being sick to over eat. This crud coming on top of me just starting my diet made me determined not to start off sabotaging myself by letting it be an excuse for failure. I have stuck to my eating plan. Now I haven't been exercising, but the way I have felt I would have fallen off the bicycle. Plus did you know your body will burn calories when it is fighting off a virus? I know I will have to work really hard over the next little while to burn calories because the doctor gave me a steroid shot to boost things along. Those things will cause you to starve and bloat. So any little gain in weight over the next week I refuse to let get me down. As long as I eat right and exercise when the steroid leaves my body I should see a nice surprise.
I told you in the beginning I only have three years to get this weight off that has taken me almost 22 years to gain. I am going to renew my vows to my wonderful husband on our 25th anniversary in front of family and close friends. I only knew him 63 days before we got married and the ceremony was held at the courthouse. No family attended and there were only two other people there. It was nice and there were definitely memorable moments, but this time I want to marry him with a minister presiding and people I love to share it with us. The best incentive I know to keep going.
Yes, I did know I was gaining more weight than I wanted to have to carry around with me but nothing hits home like not being able to wear your wedding rings. It is easy to go out an buy a new pair of pants  not so easy to pick up a new set of rings and mine cannot be stretched. I have worn them thin over all these years.
I hope you keep reading. Feel free to follow my blog or share. I also hope I am giving you a few smiles and maybe some inspiration. If I do then definitely share so it may do the same for someone else. I know my blog isn't like a lot of others that has a theme it follows. I write about random things. I'm just an everyday person, writing about my everyday life. I'm not looking to be on television or get a book deal. I just like connecting with people that go through the same things I do. Feel free to leave me comments and let me know what you think. :)

Getting Sick And Reading Bad News On Healthcare

Went out to dinner with some old friends last night to have a few wings and catch up. I was starting to feel really bad thanks to the cold that is catching up to me. We still went just stayed back from everyone. If we had cancelled like we have once before with every ones crazy schedule it has been almost a year since we have gone out. It was a wonderful evening. We laughed and talked about everything that has went on since we last saw each other. But you know you are getting old when you can sit and talk medicare with a couple and understand what they are talking about. The girls probably should have gotten their own table because they definitely didn't have anything to add to this conversation. Anyway the night passed by quickly and I still wasn't feeling great but nothing so bad I couldn't enjoy the evening, until we got in the car and started to get on the interstate. All of a sudden it felt like my head was going to explode! Every bone in my head and neck started to scream in pain. I took some pain medicine I had with me for my arthritis and by the time we had gotten back to Gardendale it was easing up. This only lasted long enough to get to Sumiton where it hit again. I think it is just a coincidence that my migraine hit at the same time I started getting sick but I slept on the couch to be safe. Do not want to spread this stuff to Jeff.
Last night I don't think I have ever prayed as hard as I did while I was in pain. I don't think I could have taken even the smallest increase in the pain. Lucky for me, God must have been willing to grant that prayer right away. It was only a few minutes before I could relax enough with an ice bag on my head to fall asleep. It wasn't a great nights sleep but at least I wasn't rolling in pain. Just want to say thank you Jesus for delivering me from pain. The only thing I could keep repeating over and over is that God is here with me He won't give me more than I can handle.
I would like to ask everyone that reads this to please pray for those who got the news yesterday that due to Obamacare their insurance rates have doubled. Most of these people are on fixed incomes, but if you have read some of my other posts I consider all of us on a fixed income. I mean how many raises have you seen in the last couple of years and if you got one did it cover the rising cost of necessities? The President said he would make health care affordable to everyone and of course most of us didn't believe him. But for those that did I understand they can't even afford what he is offering and for those that have company insurance, BCBS was one that was mentioned, their coverage is dropping and their rates are going up 50-60% a month. I don't know what it means for us and our insurance but I know there is no way possible we could take that kind of hit. So please keep this country in your prayers, this will effect everyone in some way or other.
God Bless you all until next time...

God Will Get Your Attention One Way Or The Other

I had really big plans for today, but you know the saying about the best laid plans...All of this would have gone pretty much as I had planned it except for one thing. I have kids. You know how there is always that one child that likes to only talk to you when they want something or only sit by you and cuddle when they feel bad? I have one of those. You would have thought that in 18 years I would see it coming and automatically hold my breath or at least start some vitamin C therapy. Nope, for the last two days my youngest has needed hugs and sits with her head on my shoulder. When I would ask are you getting sick? The answer was always no just a sinus infection coming back nothing contagious. Umm right. After a couple of days of special closeness with my darling daughter I am now coughing and feel like my lungs are floating in my chest. This child should come with a warning light that comes on when the least little bacteria that can cause sickness enters her body. She doesn't get sick often but when she does she is like her Dad. The world as I know it comes crashing down and this is more like a hospital than a home. We are starting to keep the local doctors office in business. I figure if his business starts floundering all he has to do is check the calendar and decide there is nothing to worry about Tammy and the girls will be coming in soon. They are good for at least an original visit and a couple of follow ups. The government may be on shut down but leave it to us to do our part to keep the economy up and running.
I just want to say that I plan to push through this and give it attention but mostly ignore it in hopes that after a few days it will move on to some other unsuspecting victim. My luck it will be Jeff and that is never any fun. For now I just want a box of crayons, a coloring book and some cartoons to make me feel better.
On the flip side of this, last night the girls and I spent a fun evening with a new friend. His name is Danny Frasier. He is a very talented young man both musically and someone that can keep you laughing with just a look. He has a wonderful outlook on life and I don't think he would mind me saying a unique perspective on the way he views life also. After reading his book, Has Anyone Seen My Shoes, I have realized just what a special person Danny really is. It is an honor that God has sent him into our lives at the time that He did. See there have been several occasions when things have been going pretty good and I was suppose to go with a friend and meet Danny at one of his performances but something would always happen and I couldn't. In the last month I have really had my world knocked out from under me and it has been a real struggle daily just to face each day as it came. Then Danny shows up with my friend a couple of weeks ago to sit by the fire and chat. Well if God didn't think I was listening when He tried to show me something He brought Danny back last night. We talked more and he let me read a copy of his book. Let me tell you something, if you can sit and read this book and not look at your life a different way then you must never come off the mountain and have to face the valley. In one evening Danny let me see that even the valleys have small peaks that can help you jump to reach the top. Until you meet him or until you read his book you will never know how small your problems really are and that you can make it through the tough times and come out smiling. Our mutual friends name is Wanda. God put her in my life just in passing while the kids were in band. But when I hit a spot in life a couple of years ago that I had no where to turn and no one that could understand what I was feeling the first person God brought to mind was her. She was there with open arms, tears and of course the Bible that she is never without. She was the first person to pray with me one on one and let me know God had my problem and He would handle it. I was saved at an early age but Wanda was the one that brought me back to God and kept me trusting in Him. She is so special to me and even though we don't talk often I know if I need her she is always there. Just to prove that point she seems to know just the right time, or should I say God knows just the right time for us to get together. Like I said before it has been a month I would not like to go through again. We decided on the spur of the moment to put a fire pit together and invite Wanda and some others to come over and enjoy it with us. She said sure but she wanted to bring a friend with her. That wasn't a problem the more the merrier. The friend was Danny. I guess God was trying to tell me that night that my problems weren't that big and to let go of them, but sometimes I forget to be still and just listen. So last night He sent Danny back. We had more time to get to know him and He let me read a copy of his book. I'm telling you people GET THIS BOOK. It will change you and the way you look at everything around you. Danny is a true example of the verse, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
My prayer for everyone today is that you look to God for your answers. You may not think He is listening but He is and remember prayers are answered in His way and His time not yours. I'm still working on that one but God has seen my struggles and has put people in my life to show me He is still listening but I could make His job easier if I would just be still and listen. This is the second time in a week that I see God having to force His point across on me so I would listen. I am going to make it a point to set aside some time each day to just listen. Can you try that with me? If you don't think it will make a difference just try it. What is a few minutes out of the day? Get a Bible sit in a quiet place and just open it and read a few passages. Then listen to what God is saying. Leave me a comment and let me know how it goes. Remember this is a challenge and I know all you football fans love a challenge. If you can ask God to help your team make a touchdown don't you think you can ask Him to help you when your down? Let me tell you I know for a fact that God can make something in your life so much bigger than that, because when God makes a touchdown it is life changing.

Challenges Ahead For Me And You

It's Monday. It seems like the weekends pass by faster and faster. I have been fighting he chubby finger syndrome and I am starting to see results. At least as far as the scale is concerned. So far I have lost 5 pounds. That at least gives me a start and something to look forward to and some motivation to keep going. The fun part is that I am eating more than usual. I took my first stab at homemade tomato soup last night. We stopped by a roadside vegetable stand and bought home grown tomatoes. It wasn't the creamy, packed full of seasonings that you see in most magazines or on television, but I thought it was delicious. All I had to do was put a little olive oil, some garlic and beef broth in a heavy pot and then core and add 5 tomatoes. I did add a little salt and some oregano. It would be great for a cold winter day drank straight from a cup. I don't know the exact calorie count but it couldn't have been very much since I didn't put anything fattening in it like most recipes. Most that I found add heavy cream.
This week shows promise to be a good week. We have plans to eat out with some really good friends this week that we haven't seen in a while. It's an older couple but they are a lot of fun to be around. I have also decided that since it is coming up on three years since my mom passed it is time to clean out her clothes and get them out of the house. I have been thinking about this for a while but really didn't know if I was ready. Yesterday at church our Sunday school teacher talked about having to clean out his late wife's clothes. It hasn't been long since she passed. He told how he held her wedding dress and thought how unfair life was that she was taken away from him. I loved my mother dearly and the one thing that I thought about when he shared this with us, is how lucky I had been to have had all those years with her. I had time to become friends with mom and my kids got to spend time and get to know a grandmother that loved them beyond measure. Mom wouldn't have wanted her things to lay around unused. She always gave to others and if someone needed something she would find a way to help. I can honor her by donating her clothes to people who can use them. I plan on saving at least one or two pieces of clothing and letting the girls pick out a couple of pieces to send to a lady in the state that make memorial bears from them. It would be nice to take a favorite piece of clothing and turn it into something that can remind us of her and be passed on to her great grandchildren that will never know her.
I have made a decision to get out of the house more. Not just to keep the roads hot but to get involved in things where I can meet new people and make new friends. Maybe this will be a beginning to overcoming my depression. I have never had friends that I could hang out with or just have a standing coffee date. Life has gotten so hectic for everyone. I remember when I was a little girl the men would go to work and the women would get together on Friday morning and have coffee and cake just to chat for an hour or so before the day began. All of these ladies became close friends and were always there for each other. Maybe with technology the way it is today people have started to take one on one conversation with each other for granted. It's getting together face to face with people that lets you know when you are needed and it lets them feel more able to open up if they have something they want to talk about. Besides as Christians we are the hands and feet of Jesus. How can we carry the word if we are propping our feet on the couch? An invitation to church is easily dodged if someone doesn't have to look you in the eye to come up with an excuse. So as the week goes on I am going to look into new things to get out of the house and meet and greet and get to know new people.
Wish me luck, pray for courage and God bless you. I challenge you to get off the couch, out of the house and do something new. Let me know how it goes.

A Good Look At Myself

I went to the doctor this morning to find out why my head is killing me. I walked in and I was the only person in the waiting room. Wow! How amazing can this day get? I am the only one here and this should be a breeze. Right, like that was going to happen. In case I haven't revealed this before I am becoming a germafobe. It bothers me a little when someone in the house is sick but let me sit in a doctors office with people that are wheezing, coughing or look like they are just this side of the pearly gates and I freak. Today I came in contact with all of the above. A woman walked in with her little girl and they both looked like they were there to try out for a zombie movie. I don't mean to sound ugly it's just that the little girl on any other day I am sure was a very beautiful bouncy 5 or 6 year old. Today she had pale skin, dark circles under her eyes and a blank stare. Then two men walked in with an elderly couple that I overheard to be in their 90's. That isn't scary but when both were in the night cloths and you could hear wheezing from across the room you know this wasn't a routine visit. Now let's give you the one that topped my day off. Elderly lady in a moo-moo comes through the door and she is panting from the exertion it took her to get from the sidewalk to the waiting room. She lays across the desk to sign in and informs the receptionist that she has been throwing up for 3 days and it's not getting better. All I can do at this point is pray. God please don't let this woman sit next to me. I don't know if God was testing me or if Satan filled the waiting room but you guessed it...she sat right next to me. I found out a lot about myself in the 20 minutes I sat in the room with these people. 1. I do have compassion and feel for others that are sick. 2. I don't like the person I am becoming and have to change. 3. I can't hold my breath for 20 minutes.
Let's address look closer at these things. As for number one, when the elderly couple walked in together my first thought is how sad they looked and when I heard, what I understood to be their sons, arguing about having to be there with them I wanted to help out and make them feel better. Here they were old and sick with sons that could do nothing more than complain. Wake up guys! These are the people that raised you. They wiped your runny nose, worked hard to put food on the table and deserve better than you are giving them now.
As for 2. There was a time that I wouldn't think twice about reaching out to help someone that was as sick as the second lady that sat beside me. I was thinking about this as I sat in the exam room waiting on the doctor and heard a commotion in the hallway. The nurses were rushing to find a room to put this lady in because she had started throwing up again in the waiting room and was afraid she was going to pass out. Why had my fear of catching something kept me from asking the nurse to take her next instead of me? Then I had to ask myself a tough question. Would God be happy with the way I had acted today? I had to give the honest answer and it was, no. As a christian God would have wanted me to put others needs above my own. He must have looked at the way I acted today as selfish. I am ashamed of the way I behaved and from this point on I am going to try and make an effort to change.
As for my headaches they are due to tension and learning to relax a little more will solve that problem. If you are wondering about number 3. don't. I did try to hold my breath as much as I could, then I noticed that the elderly man sitting across from me kept staring at me as though I needed a doctor worse than he did. With those two men as sons though he had probably seen his share of someone holding their breath to get their way. :)

Weight Loss Woes Won't Keep Me Down

I know I haven't been posting on a regular basis, but like everyone that is trying to lose weight I have hit some real problem days. For the last two days I have suffered with horrible migraines. Yesterday I chalked it up to the virus that has been moving through the house. This morning when it woke me up from a sound sleep all I could think of was getting a cup of coffee. After the first cup my headache was gone. I haven't been trying to cut back on the caffeine but I guess I haven't been getting as much as usual since trying to drink more water. Maybe someone should come up with adding caffeine to water so when you give up the sweet drinks you can still get your caffeine fix. I don't mind drinking my coffee black so I may just drink a few cups throughout the day to keep this under control until I can deal with more pressing things.
I am proud of myself I did get on my stationary bike and ride for 20 minutes on Monday. This may not sound like a lot to most people but for me it is a major accomplishment. After having broken my ankle in 2009 and then having a partial knee replacement this year, any time spent on a bike or walking is great. My main goal is to get at least 20 minutes a day without resistance this week and then add 5 minutes and increase the resistance by one next week.
I thought about going to a doctor and getting started on weight loss medication and taking lipotropic injections. I may still but due to the cost I'm going to give it the old school trial of eating better, portion control and more exercise. I quit smoking in 2008 so I don't see why I can't use the same distractions and self control to lose weight. Yeah, I may not see the immediate results I saw when I stopped smoking but in the long run I hope to look better and feel better. I would love to get back into a nice pair of jeans and be able to wear a shirt without having to hide my belly roll.
I know I am getting close to 50 but there is no reason I can't get in shape enough that I can't wear a nice pair of jeans, top and a pretty pair of boots. If I can lose enough weight I would LOVE to be able to wear something that isn't stretchy in the waist and butt. Shirts that don't hang to my knees to cover all the extra me that is hanging out in all the wrong places.