Best Memory Of All

Four years ago today I lost my best friend, confidant, partner in mischief and most of all mom. She was such an amazing woman. I just wish I had realized that a lot sooner than I did. Having her live here with us for her last 5 years was something I wouldn't trade for all the riches in this world. We always went Black Friday shopping. Up at 3:00 got in lines and rushed the crowds to get what we could. It was an all day experience. I will never forget taking her to the Riverchase Galleria shortly after it opened. Now I hadn't been there but a couple of times and my mom never really had been in a large mall at all so this was a true experience for her. Word of advice here, when deciding on taking an older person shopping in a very large mall on Black Friday, always get one of those child leashes and attach yourselves together. Yep you got it I lost my mom in the crowd. She was looking all around in amazement at how huge the place was and all the decorations and got caught in the human traffic going in the opposite direction. I was looking in a store window with her one minute the next she was gone. POOF! Calling her name out loud and jumping up and down looking in both directions (yes my mother was short) I finally noticed human traffic parting around a stationary object and yep it was mom. She realized she had wandered away by accident and figured stopping right where she was and not budging gave her the best chance of being found alive. What can I say? It worked. We survived to shop many other Black Fridays but she would never again let me take her to the Galleria.
My mom always had a sneaky sense of humor. I mean this is a lady that taught a cat to play hide and seek with her. I wish we had smart phones and youtube back then. Anyway to understand the last few years while she lived with us you have to know that we live in a two story house that has 4 exit doors and two sets of stairs in different areas of the house. When you get upstairs there are 3 bedrooms and a bath. One set of stairs leads into what was mother's room. It is a large bonus type room and worked out great to give her privacy and a small apartment type area. All of the rooms are connected upstairs so you could go up mom's stairs and into a bedroom then the hallway and down the other stairs. Now I am telling you all of this so you will understand how we lost my mother in our own home. Mother could move around like a cat. You never heard her coming or going and many times when we would turn around and get startled because she was right behind us we threatened to put a collar with a bell on her. She always found it funnier than we did when she made one of us jump. We hadn't been living here but a few days and we had all been sick when we were moving. Everyone had been busy unpacking and shuffling boxes and I realized I hadn't bumped into mother in a while so I started asking where she was.  No one had seen her in a little while so we started calling her name and running up and down stairways and all we did was pass each other but no mom. We did look out of the windows onto the front and back porches but that was where we made our mistake. Like I said my mom was a petite woman. After I started to panic we decided to go out in the neighborhood and look to see if she had met up with a new neighbor cause mom was a people person. That is when I found her sitting on the bottom step on the back porch relaxed and acting like nothing could be farther from her mind than we would be looking for her. We laughed about that for years. She was so quiet that we wouldn't know she was outside and until we got used to her sitting out on the porch there were times we would lock her outside at night. Not on purpose and she didn't jump up and yell she would just get ready to come in and ring the doorbell. Then laugh when she saw the look on our faces as we opened the door and she was on the other side. We finally started checking her location before locking up around the house. Especially when we asked her what she would do if we didn't hear her at the door. She told us she would walk next door and tell the neighbors that we locked her out for the night and she needed a place to sleep. I asked if she would lie to the neighbors like that and her reply was, "it's not a lie, you did lock me out and I did need a place to sleep." This is the type of woman that raised me. Is there any wonder I torture my kids with the same kind of humor?
I could tell you many, many stories of my mom. It would take me a lifetime. I still miss her like crazy. She passed away on Black Friday 2010. We still shopped that day but it was for her final resting place. She was a fighter and stayed on this earth long after she was tired and ready to go to her heavenly home. I have been asked how I deal with living here now that she is gone. It has its moments, but there are so many amazing memories everywhere I turn I think I am really lucky.
If there was one thing I would have changed I would have taken more pictures of my mom. She hated having her picture made so there aren't many of her. She let us take more as her time grew shorter here on earth and if you think about it that is sad in a way. We always seem to find the need to take every picture and make every memory possible at the end of our time together. I don't know why. Mom still taught me something even after she passed. I never liked having my picture made either, but now I take pictures every chance I get with friends and family. I want them to look back and see me happy, healthy, smiling and having funny or being goofy. We always worry about how our hair looks or how we are dressed. Hey, these are the people that live with you and have seen you drag out of the bed with your hair standing on end. They will just look back and say, yep that's how she looked when...
Be blessed, be a blessing, take lots and lots of pictures every chance you get and let people know you love them. Always give hugs and kisses when leaving each others company because you never know what will happen. We aren't guaranteed a next time or tomorrow. I still can feel the last time I had my mom put her arms around me and hug me. She kissed me on the cheek and told me she loved me. I just want you to know that out of all the lifetime of memories that one is the sweetest and best of all. Her lips on my cheek were like satin and she felt so tiny in my arms. I still hear the um-uh sound she would make so that her hugs would sound like the were tighter than she could squeeze.
So um-uh mom...hope you could feel that. I love you.

Weekend Work, Fun and Worship

What a busy weekend! It was fun, a lot of work, family time and full of friends old and new. On Friday night we went to a high school football game just to watch the halftime performance. One of my best friends youngest son is the drum major for the high school and I just had to see this young man perform. He was awesome. Such fun and we ran into old friends there and found out their kids are also in the band. It was their last game and well worth the drive to be entertained.
Saturday when the hubby got home we had to go out and find some old clothes from a thrift store to make him a Halloween costume. I know Halloween was over by this time but our friend waits to have her party after Halloween. It started out simple. He was going to be a hobo. Then I decided he looked to well dressed so I helped tear apart the costume and add a few tacky touches. We all thought he looked great. I even talked him into dancing the Time Warp with us. If you don't know what that is you really need to go to you tube and look for Rocky Horror. Anyone doing this dance has to laugh and have fun. He must have had a pretty good time because the only other time he has ever danced was at our wedding and that was only one song. Of course my oldest daughter was a pirate and the costume was really good. Started out a little short so we added some length before leaving home and a pair of shorts underneath for good measure. Our youngest put on Grumpy scrubs and went as a nurse. Me? Well I got in touch with my inner child. I dressed in flannel p.j.s and carried a stuffed bunny with my hair in pigtails and became a 3 year old again. Played that one up good, because for one night I could throw all the tantrums I wanted to and just get goodies to keep me quiet. To bad I can't play that card more often. But after we spent most of the morning getting costumes ready I had everyone get together to help move furniture up and down stairs. I used to think houses with an upstairs were beautiful and always wanted stairs. Be careful what you wish for because when you get old you may regret it. My knee is getting much better. Praise the Lord. But it still hates the trips up and down the stairs. But with all of that finished I still have a long way to go to get everything like I want it and a short time to complete it with the holidays coming.
Sunday was a fantastic day of worship. We opened the new Kidz Kindgom at Gardendale First Baptist Church. It was so great to hear the kids coming in laughing and so excited to be there. We got to see a live video shot of them having worship and everyone was so blessed to see all those sweet faces that God is going to be leading. I always enjoy my church family and the time we spend in worship together.
Today it is back to the housework and I can honestly say I am looking forward to getting started. The time change is both good and bad. I get sleepy earlier but that means I can get up and it is daylight sooner so I can get my day started and over with. As far as the diet goes I haven't lost anymore weight but I have been able to get my wedding rings back on, YEA!!!! I'll have to amp up my workout and start shedding the rest of these pounds.
I hope everyone has a blessed day and remember when you are feeling down or just feel like no one understands you. God understands. He formed you, loves you and only asks that you follow His word and love Him and tell others about Him. His love is unconditional.

A Challenge to Take a Look Around and Change

There are times in your life when you have to stand back and look at your surroundings. You need to take stock of the life you have and the people you share it with. Are you happy with the people in your life? Do they add to your life, or try to drag you down? Many times we spend our days looking at other people and trying to measure up to what they think we should be or we look at their life and think we would be happier if only... But you should never measure your happiness by what others think. You shouldn't look at others and think that you would be happier if only you were more like them. Every ones life is different and we all have our own unique struggles. Even people who always seems happy and content on the outside has something in their life they wish they could change, or a battle that they deal with. This morning I was talking to a couple of ladies in our Sunday school class and I'm not sure how we got on the subject, but they were talking about how they didn't keep in touch with an old friend because that person always complained about how bad their life was. I have been guilty of being a complainer, I think we all have at some point in our lives, but I would like to think there are more times that I try to look at the up side of things. I have always been one of those people though that tends to attract people that want to tell me how horrible their life is and how life has been so unfair to them. This tends to rub off on you after a while. Maybe I walk around with a sign on me that says, tell me all your problems. I think friends should be able to tell each other anything. You should be able to help each other through hard times, but also be able to have fun times and enjoy each others company. Now there is a fine line between helping each other through hard times and listening to your friend complain about their spouse. If you are having problems with your spouse and you have done everything you can to take care of it between you and your spouse a friend can be a shoulder to lean on. But you should always lift your spouse up in front of others and I admit this is something I am working on. I have always been the wife that teases my husband in public but until recently I didn't realize that this wasn't the way God would want me to behave towards my husband in public. My husband is a wonderful man. He has always made sure that his family has had everything we needed and he works very hard for a living. He is a man that has put God first in his life and is a wonderful example to his children of what a true Godly husband should be. We laugh and tease each other and have always been so comfortable doing that together until I never truly looked at how others may view the things we say about each other in public. They don't know the things we have gone through together or the fact that our teasing is just that and nothing more. As I have thought about people I talk to and listen to I have realized that there are many people out there that constantly complain about their spouse. How they don't listen or they leave things laying around the house. We all have our faults and the last thing we need is someone calling them to our attention or worse yet telling everyone we know about our bad habits.
Now here is another one of those pesky challenges I throw out from time to time. Remember I am a work in progress and these are things I am challenging myself to do as well. This week take a good look around at the company you keep. Do your friends constantly complain? Do they tear their spouse down in front of others? Are you one of those people? This week when you hear a person complaining try to change the subject to something more pleasant. If they are tearing their spouse down and pointing out all the things they can't do right, don't just sit and listen. This only encourages the behavior. Instead try to point out that this is the person that they chose to spend their life with and ask would they really trade all those bad habits for a life without that person? A marriage is always worth fighting for and bad habits or little things that irritate you would never cross your mind if that person wasn't in your life. I have never heard a spouse that has lost their other half complain about a dirty sock in the floor or a burned dinner. The only things that were ever remembered were the good things. This week start a new habit. Only talk about the good things when talking about your spouse with others. Because other people will remember the bad things when all you can ever remember were the good. Isn't that how we all want to be remembered? For the good things?

Less Is More and God Is Great

Monday morning again? Wow! Seems like there is no weekend anymore. Me and the girls spent all day Saturday doing an unplanned cleaning of our storage building. I would have never guessed there was that much junk to get rid of. Happily though a local charity is picking all of the unused things up tomorrow and I will have more space. Space is only temporary though, as you know anytime you clean out something called a storage building that only means there are other things that are waiting to go inside. I am really having to give this a lot of thought. I mean if you aren't using it why would you want to store it? My parents never had a storage building. If the Christmas decorations didn't fit into a small closet then we didn't get any new ones. If the clothes got over filled we threw things out or donated them. Why have we gotten so attached to things. Our leader in Sunday school yesterday was talking about our attachments to worldly things. He talked about the fact that we tend to hold so tight to things and that is all they are "things." When we die God is not going to look at us and say, hey you had a huge amount of things on earth, good job. We need to keep our eye on the prize. We need to hold on tight to God's word and give away the worldly things that do nothing but clutter our daily lives. I have been guilty of holding onto things for sentimental reasons when really the memories these things invoke  is where the sentiment really lies. I can take pictures to remember details and still keep the memories attached. I also hold onto things and let them crowd my life thinking about that big yard sale I can have. I want to ask you if you have ever had a yard sale that in the end you could look at all the work you put into it and thought the money you got out of it was worth the trouble and the back ache? I know I haven't. I have decided that things must go. I am taking this one area at a time and calling the charity truck as needed to get these things out of my house. Some of this comes from the fact that I am claustrophobic and I have a reasonable sized house for our family size, but I am slowly being pushed out of my house by all of the things inside it. Now don't get me wrong I am not close to hoarder standards by no means. My family would have thrown me out by now if I were, but I just like everything to be open and airy.
Sunday was a really wonderful day. Hubby was home to go to church with us and the worship was off the chain as our pastor likes to say. I'll say it here that you have to have faith. You have to believe and you have to ask for God's help in your daily life. If you have kept up with my blog you know that I had a partial knee replacement at the first of the year. This makes it almost impossible for me to sit for long periods and walk without pain or get on my knees at the alter and be able to get up without a lot of help. I wanted to go to the alter Sunday because I could feel God moving and I just asked him if He would give my knee the ability to move well enough to get there and get down as low as possible to talk to Him and be able to get up on my own. People let me tell you if you didn't already know, God Is Great. Not only was I able to get down on my knees, but I could feel God telling me that He can do anything if I only ask and it is His will. God has been so good. My knee hasn't given me any trouble since yesterday. I have gone up and down stairs like a normal person and all the glory goes to the one and only God. Praise goes to Him. I just put this in to let you know that if you don't have a personal relationship with God you are missing out on the greatest relationship you can ever have. I have been truly blessed.
Well, I still feel the chunk it all mode going so I guess I need to get up from here and start chucking stuff out. I have even gotten the girls in a lets chunk it all mood. Hooray!!! If you can get kids in this mode then you have defeated half your work. I hope this encourages you to look around at your stuff and really think about what you want your life to be like. Would you rather live crowded in your own home or would you rather dust less stuff, vacuum less furniture and dodge less corners?

An Addiction? Only If It Means a Trip to Malibu

It's a new day and I think the sickness has finally left the house. Yesterday I was actually able to get my housework caught up with. My energy is back and I spent some time on the stationary bike. It may not seem like I did much for some people, but for someone my size I think I did a pretty good job. Stayed within my calorie count and then rode the bike for 34 minutes at a rapid pace. I haven't added any resistance yet since I got sick shortly after starting this diet but starting Monday I may need prayers because I will increase the resistance by one every week. I'm keeping my chubby little fingers crossed that I really make a lifestyle change this time and not just a temporary change.

It is suppose to get to cold to leave my plants out this weekend so I started trying to find places to put them inside. This is no easy chore. I have a peace lily that measures a good 6 ft. in diameter. I can't believe I have been able to keep this thing alive for 3 years much less that it has grown into this monster. I love it though. It was a gift given to us when my Mom passed away and I do give it extra attention to keep it alive. I have smaller ones and even a strange tree type plant we call baby George. The reason it is baby George is because it is a rooting from big George. Mother got big George in 1998 when my Dad passed away and she kind of let him have his way when he started to grow. This thing went from being in a 10 inch pot to having to be wheeled around on a cart in one of the biggest pots we could find. He took a drastic cut back just before Mom got sick and then just king of blossomed even bigger. After Mom passed we had a good rooting from him and I didn't have anyplace to keep him and the peace lily so I gave him to our neighbor. She love him and I know that she takes as good of care of him as I would have. He had been around so long it was like adopting out a pet you had forever and just couldn't take care of anymore.

After trying to find a place for all the plants I have taken a big notice in the fact that even though we have a good size house we have crammed way too much junk inside. I usually go through a spell early in the year where I declare to everyone in the house that stuff has got to go. With my knee surgery I wasn't able to make that huge declaration this year...until now. Last night before going to bed I sat everyone down and said I wanted them to just take a look around. They all agreed that we have collected more things than we need and it is time to start moving this junk outta here. We looked at a couple of places to start. We could clean all the left over yard sale things out of the building or start by cleaning out the attic. The way I look at it is that this will do nothing for the household overflow. Except give us more room to store more junk and keep us from throwing more away. I told everyone since they worked it would have to be done on a Saturday and I would find one Saturday this month that we could all get together and throw stuff away. I'm not sure I can wait that long so today I am going to try and start making a dent in my part of the clutter. When I get in these moods it's always good if I have a couple of days to take care of everything. I tend to spend the first day making more mess than I clean. It is really hard to explain to someone when they walk in on Armageddon that it is a work in progress for the good. I'll have to take pictures of the working in progress because without seeing what is going on you would never understand. Most people may go through things as they take them out of the area and throw them away. I am one of those people who likes to see all of it laid out as I walk through with a garbage bag picking up. This of course would lead the city to rope my house in crime scene tape and deny access to the house as a danger zone. I wouldn't blame them I get kind of scared myself as I start stepping over things and having to crawl from closets. But it is such a sense of accomplishment to see the project completed. Of course I do usually call someone and let them know what I am doing so if I go missing they know the last place I was headed and if I am knocked unconscious they may be able to dig through to me before I die. You may be laughing now but just wait and see pictures. If I have the guts to post them. Sometimes this sort of thing is just to traumatic to leave evidence behind.

I admit it. To some degree I am a hoarder. I think I said this before, but they say the first step in getting help is admitting you have a problem. Yes, my name is Tammy and I have a problem, well not a problem but some serious issues with stuff. I have to fight the urge to go to yard sales because I just know there is the perfect something out there, with a can't beat it price, that I didn't know I needed just waiting for me. I have picked up so many things that way just to find myself donating them to charity or selling them at my own yard sale. Have you ever passed a yard sale and thought you could just hear this great bargain calling to you. I mean it can be just a sign in the middle of the highway and you just know that if you don't go you will miss out on the next great million dollar item that can be picked up for a few pennies. As I sit here hanging my head I realize that yes this is an addiction. I wonder if they cure something like this at those resort addiction programs I keep seeing advertised on television? If so, sign me up. Yep I am a yard sale addict and I need a spa centered, island addiction center to get me well. Just remember I may be prone to several relapses over time as I come back home to reality and start seeing those neon pieces of construction paper taped to flimsy sticks stating I am missing out on something big. For now it is Friday and I promise not to leave the house so that temptation doesn't reach me until I have at least made a dent in last years magnificent yard sale finds. The truck for the local charity runs here on Tuesday so wish me luck. If you don't hear from me just know that somewhere in the middle of a pile of things in the house I have probably fallen and I can't get up, and no one has come home and had time to find me yet. Maybe I should open a window and get a flare gun. Hmmm.

In God We Trust

I sit here this morning thinking about the last few days. Everyone in the house has been sick. It seems like we just can't get rid of what ever this is going around. It has left me watching a lot of news. I am not the best when it comes to paying attention to the government and all that goes on. To be honest I have always voted the way I felt would be best for the things to get done that needed doing but figured once that was over there wasn't a whole lot I could do to change what happened. I still feel that way. I mean there are people up there with more money to spend than I have and no matter who you put in office they are going to put their vote where the money is. Here we are though less than 24 hours until the government will default on everything it owes. This has never happened in the history of our country so there is no precedence for it. No one really knows what will happen. There are people giving out bits and pieces of what they think will happen but can the really know if we have never been there? I mean if you don't pay for your house they foreclose and take your house. I know a country is a bigger challenge to foreclose on but could it happen? My family was born a US citizen. We have had family and friends who fought for this country. How can one man so easily cause enough discourse with the congress to give all of that away? Why wasn't all the spending stopped long ago. I'm not sure what they spent all of the money on and I don't know that anyone will ever know. Think about this though. Our forefathers had much less than we have but they were happy, raised families with better values than most have now and they were not in debt to anyone. I love my technology as much as the next person, but is it worth borrowing more than we could ever foresee paying back just to have?
My daughter traveled to Ecuador. See lived in very sparse conditions and spent her days with people who had very little. She saw God's hand on these people as they went through their daily lives and saw that he provided what they needed. The key word is needed. Everyone has wants. But God sees to our NEEDS. I admit I wanted to take over and help provide some of our needs last summer by growing a garden. I had borrowed a tiller that refused to crank. I had work done on it and tried everything I could to get that thing running. Finally I surprised my daughter instead of saying a bunch of the words I would have used in the past I just sat down and prayed. I told God that I was trying to do my part to help my family save some money and have fresh vegetables on the table every night. All I asked was that if it was meant to be would he please just help that tiller crank so that I could till the earth He provided and plant the seeds that He provided. I would provide the work and the water and fertilizer it took to help it grow. I got my answer the tiller never cranked, the garden never got planted and I finally just went to the store to eat. But, God also knew that we couldn't afford a large water bill and He knew that He was planning a drought last summer.
The only thing I can do about everything this country is going through is just pray and leave it to God. I take certain precautions I guess because my Mom lived through the depression and I have had that get prepared mode ingrained in me. God says 365 times in the Bible, Do Not Fear. God today I will not fear. It is in Your hands and I leave my trust in you.
Times may get hard on you just remember that God has it under control. Get to know Him and put your trust in Him.

Fighting Against Chubby Finger Syndrome And Winning!

No, I didn't die but I there were times yesterday that I wished I could have left my body. Wow! this junk that is going around is awful. You don't really have any symptoms just a tickle in your throat and it will be a little sore, but it will put you down like a tranquilizer to a tiger. I went to the doctor and this time I think I was the worst looking thing sitting in the office. People were trying to avoid me, hehehe a taste of my own medicine. See it is true what goes around comes around. I couldn't blame them I didn't want to be around me either.
If anything good could come out of a doctors visit it really did. I got on the scale to find out I am a total of 8 pounds gone and dropped 1 point on my BMI. Hold on while I do a little celebration dance.
Ok. That done, now I know you are thinking, well she has been sick and not eating, HA you don't know me. When I am sick I eat more that when I am well. Mostly because I crave comfort food and it is a lot easier to snack or use the excuse of being sick to over eat. This crud coming on top of me just starting my diet made me determined not to start off sabotaging myself by letting it be an excuse for failure. I have stuck to my eating plan. Now I haven't been exercising, but the way I have felt I would have fallen off the bicycle. Plus did you know your body will burn calories when it is fighting off a virus? I know I will have to work really hard over the next little while to burn calories because the doctor gave me a steroid shot to boost things along. Those things will cause you to starve and bloat. So any little gain in weight over the next week I refuse to let get me down. As long as I eat right and exercise when the steroid leaves my body I should see a nice surprise.
I told you in the beginning I only have three years to get this weight off that has taken me almost 22 years to gain. I am going to renew my vows to my wonderful husband on our 25th anniversary in front of family and close friends. I only knew him 63 days before we got married and the ceremony was held at the courthouse. No family attended and there were only two other people there. It was nice and there were definitely memorable moments, but this time I want to marry him with a minister presiding and people I love to share it with us. The best incentive I know to keep going.
Yes, I did know I was gaining more weight than I wanted to have to carry around with me but nothing hits home like not being able to wear your wedding rings. It is easy to go out an buy a new pair of pants  not so easy to pick up a new set of rings and mine cannot be stretched. I have worn them thin over all these years.
I hope you keep reading. Feel free to follow my blog or share. I also hope I am giving you a few smiles and maybe some inspiration. If I do then definitely share so it may do the same for someone else. I know my blog isn't like a lot of others that has a theme it follows. I write about random things. I'm just an everyday person, writing about my everyday life. I'm not looking to be on television or get a book deal. I just like connecting with people that go through the same things I do. Feel free to leave me comments and let me know what you think. :)

Getting Sick And Reading Bad News On Healthcare

Went out to dinner with some old friends last night to have a few wings and catch up. I was starting to feel really bad thanks to the cold that is catching up to me. We still went just stayed back from everyone. If we had cancelled like we have once before with every ones crazy schedule it has been almost a year since we have gone out. It was a wonderful evening. We laughed and talked about everything that has went on since we last saw each other. But you know you are getting old when you can sit and talk medicare with a couple and understand what they are talking about. The girls probably should have gotten their own table because they definitely didn't have anything to add to this conversation. Anyway the night passed by quickly and I still wasn't feeling great but nothing so bad I couldn't enjoy the evening, until we got in the car and started to get on the interstate. All of a sudden it felt like my head was going to explode! Every bone in my head and neck started to scream in pain. I took some pain medicine I had with me for my arthritis and by the time we had gotten back to Gardendale it was easing up. This only lasted long enough to get to Sumiton where it hit again. I think it is just a coincidence that my migraine hit at the same time I started getting sick but I slept on the couch to be safe. Do not want to spread this stuff to Jeff.
Last night I don't think I have ever prayed as hard as I did while I was in pain. I don't think I could have taken even the smallest increase in the pain. Lucky for me, God must have been willing to grant that prayer right away. It was only a few minutes before I could relax enough with an ice bag on my head to fall asleep. It wasn't a great nights sleep but at least I wasn't rolling in pain. Just want to say thank you Jesus for delivering me from pain. The only thing I could keep repeating over and over is that God is here with me He won't give me more than I can handle.
I would like to ask everyone that reads this to please pray for those who got the news yesterday that due to Obamacare their insurance rates have doubled. Most of these people are on fixed incomes, but if you have read some of my other posts I consider all of us on a fixed income. I mean how many raises have you seen in the last couple of years and if you got one did it cover the rising cost of necessities? The President said he would make health care affordable to everyone and of course most of us didn't believe him. But for those that did I understand they can't even afford what he is offering and for those that have company insurance, BCBS was one that was mentioned, their coverage is dropping and their rates are going up 50-60% a month. I don't know what it means for us and our insurance but I know there is no way possible we could take that kind of hit. So please keep this country in your prayers, this will effect everyone in some way or other.
God Bless you all until next time...

God Will Get Your Attention One Way Or The Other

I had really big plans for today, but you know the saying about the best laid plans...All of this would have gone pretty much as I had planned it except for one thing. I have kids. You know how there is always that one child that likes to only talk to you when they want something or only sit by you and cuddle when they feel bad? I have one of those. You would have thought that in 18 years I would see it coming and automatically hold my breath or at least start some vitamin C therapy. Nope, for the last two days my youngest has needed hugs and sits with her head on my shoulder. When I would ask are you getting sick? The answer was always no just a sinus infection coming back nothing contagious. Umm right. After a couple of days of special closeness with my darling daughter I am now coughing and feel like my lungs are floating in my chest. This child should come with a warning light that comes on when the least little bacteria that can cause sickness enters her body. She doesn't get sick often but when she does she is like her Dad. The world as I know it comes crashing down and this is more like a hospital than a home. We are starting to keep the local doctors office in business. I figure if his business starts floundering all he has to do is check the calendar and decide there is nothing to worry about Tammy and the girls will be coming in soon. They are good for at least an original visit and a couple of follow ups. The government may be on shut down but leave it to us to do our part to keep the economy up and running.
I just want to say that I plan to push through this and give it attention but mostly ignore it in hopes that after a few days it will move on to some other unsuspecting victim. My luck it will be Jeff and that is never any fun. For now I just want a box of crayons, a coloring book and some cartoons to make me feel better.
On the flip side of this, last night the girls and I spent a fun evening with a new friend. His name is Danny Frasier. He is a very talented young man both musically and someone that can keep you laughing with just a look. He has a wonderful outlook on life and I don't think he would mind me saying a unique perspective on the way he views life also. After reading his book, Has Anyone Seen My Shoes, I have realized just what a special person Danny really is. It is an honor that God has sent him into our lives at the time that He did. See there have been several occasions when things have been going pretty good and I was suppose to go with a friend and meet Danny at one of his performances but something would always happen and I couldn't. In the last month I have really had my world knocked out from under me and it has been a real struggle daily just to face each day as it came. Then Danny shows up with my friend a couple of weeks ago to sit by the fire and chat. Well if God didn't think I was listening when He tried to show me something He brought Danny back last night. We talked more and he let me read a copy of his book. Let me tell you something, if you can sit and read this book and not look at your life a different way then you must never come off the mountain and have to face the valley. In one evening Danny let me see that even the valleys have small peaks that can help you jump to reach the top. Until you meet him or until you read his book you will never know how small your problems really are and that you can make it through the tough times and come out smiling. Our mutual friends name is Wanda. God put her in my life just in passing while the kids were in band. But when I hit a spot in life a couple of years ago that I had no where to turn and no one that could understand what I was feeling the first person God brought to mind was her. She was there with open arms, tears and of course the Bible that she is never without. She was the first person to pray with me one on one and let me know God had my problem and He would handle it. I was saved at an early age but Wanda was the one that brought me back to God and kept me trusting in Him. She is so special to me and even though we don't talk often I know if I need her she is always there. Just to prove that point she seems to know just the right time, or should I say God knows just the right time for us to get together. Like I said before it has been a month I would not like to go through again. We decided on the spur of the moment to put a fire pit together and invite Wanda and some others to come over and enjoy it with us. She said sure but she wanted to bring a friend with her. That wasn't a problem the more the merrier. The friend was Danny. I guess God was trying to tell me that night that my problems weren't that big and to let go of them, but sometimes I forget to be still and just listen. So last night He sent Danny back. We had more time to get to know him and He let me read a copy of his book. I'm telling you people GET THIS BOOK. It will change you and the way you look at everything around you. Danny is a true example of the verse, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
My prayer for everyone today is that you look to God for your answers. You may not think He is listening but He is and remember prayers are answered in His way and His time not yours. I'm still working on that one but God has seen my struggles and has put people in my life to show me He is still listening but I could make His job easier if I would just be still and listen. This is the second time in a week that I see God having to force His point across on me so I would listen. I am going to make it a point to set aside some time each day to just listen. Can you try that with me? If you don't think it will make a difference just try it. What is a few minutes out of the day? Get a Bible sit in a quiet place and just open it and read a few passages. Then listen to what God is saying. Leave me a comment and let me know how it goes. Remember this is a challenge and I know all you football fans love a challenge. If you can ask God to help your team make a touchdown don't you think you can ask Him to help you when your down? Let me tell you I know for a fact that God can make something in your life so much bigger than that, because when God makes a touchdown it is life changing.

Challenges Ahead For Me And You

It's Monday. It seems like the weekends pass by faster and faster. I have been fighting he chubby finger syndrome and I am starting to see results. At least as far as the scale is concerned. So far I have lost 5 pounds. That at least gives me a start and something to look forward to and some motivation to keep going. The fun part is that I am eating more than usual. I took my first stab at homemade tomato soup last night. We stopped by a roadside vegetable stand and bought home grown tomatoes. It wasn't the creamy, packed full of seasonings that you see in most magazines or on television, but I thought it was delicious. All I had to do was put a little olive oil, some garlic and beef broth in a heavy pot and then core and add 5 tomatoes. I did add a little salt and some oregano. It would be great for a cold winter day drank straight from a cup. I don't know the exact calorie count but it couldn't have been very much since I didn't put anything fattening in it like most recipes. Most that I found add heavy cream.
This week shows promise to be a good week. We have plans to eat out with some really good friends this week that we haven't seen in a while. It's an older couple but they are a lot of fun to be around. I have also decided that since it is coming up on three years since my mom passed it is time to clean out her clothes and get them out of the house. I have been thinking about this for a while but really didn't know if I was ready. Yesterday at church our Sunday school teacher talked about having to clean out his late wife's clothes. It hasn't been long since she passed. He told how he held her wedding dress and thought how unfair life was that she was taken away from him. I loved my mother dearly and the one thing that I thought about when he shared this with us, is how lucky I had been to have had all those years with her. I had time to become friends with mom and my kids got to spend time and get to know a grandmother that loved them beyond measure. Mom wouldn't have wanted her things to lay around unused. She always gave to others and if someone needed something she would find a way to help. I can honor her by donating her clothes to people who can use them. I plan on saving at least one or two pieces of clothing and letting the girls pick out a couple of pieces to send to a lady in the state that make memorial bears from them. It would be nice to take a favorite piece of clothing and turn it into something that can remind us of her and be passed on to her great grandchildren that will never know her.
I have made a decision to get out of the house more. Not just to keep the roads hot but to get involved in things where I can meet new people and make new friends. Maybe this will be a beginning to overcoming my depression. I have never had friends that I could hang out with or just have a standing coffee date. Life has gotten so hectic for everyone. I remember when I was a little girl the men would go to work and the women would get together on Friday morning and have coffee and cake just to chat for an hour or so before the day began. All of these ladies became close friends and were always there for each other. Maybe with technology the way it is today people have started to take one on one conversation with each other for granted. It's getting together face to face with people that lets you know when you are needed and it lets them feel more able to open up if they have something they want to talk about. Besides as Christians we are the hands and feet of Jesus. How can we carry the word if we are propping our feet on the couch? An invitation to church is easily dodged if someone doesn't have to look you in the eye to come up with an excuse. So as the week goes on I am going to look into new things to get out of the house and meet and greet and get to know new people.
Wish me luck, pray for courage and God bless you. I challenge you to get off the couch, out of the house and do something new. Let me know how it goes.

A Good Look At Myself

I went to the doctor this morning to find out why my head is killing me. I walked in and I was the only person in the waiting room. Wow! How amazing can this day get? I am the only one here and this should be a breeze. Right, like that was going to happen. In case I haven't revealed this before I am becoming a germafobe. It bothers me a little when someone in the house is sick but let me sit in a doctors office with people that are wheezing, coughing or look like they are just this side of the pearly gates and I freak. Today I came in contact with all of the above. A woman walked in with her little girl and they both looked like they were there to try out for a zombie movie. I don't mean to sound ugly it's just that the little girl on any other day I am sure was a very beautiful bouncy 5 or 6 year old. Today she had pale skin, dark circles under her eyes and a blank stare. Then two men walked in with an elderly couple that I overheard to be in their 90's. That isn't scary but when both were in the night cloths and you could hear wheezing from across the room you know this wasn't a routine visit. Now let's give you the one that topped my day off. Elderly lady in a moo-moo comes through the door and she is panting from the exertion it took her to get from the sidewalk to the waiting room. She lays across the desk to sign in and informs the receptionist that she has been throwing up for 3 days and it's not getting better. All I can do at this point is pray. God please don't let this woman sit next to me. I don't know if God was testing me or if Satan filled the waiting room but you guessed it...she sat right next to me. I found out a lot about myself in the 20 minutes I sat in the room with these people. 1. I do have compassion and feel for others that are sick. 2. I don't like the person I am becoming and have to change. 3. I can't hold my breath for 20 minutes.
Let's address look closer at these things. As for number one, when the elderly couple walked in together my first thought is how sad they looked and when I heard, what I understood to be their sons, arguing about having to be there with them I wanted to help out and make them feel better. Here they were old and sick with sons that could do nothing more than complain. Wake up guys! These are the people that raised you. They wiped your runny nose, worked hard to put food on the table and deserve better than you are giving them now.
As for 2. There was a time that I wouldn't think twice about reaching out to help someone that was as sick as the second lady that sat beside me. I was thinking about this as I sat in the exam room waiting on the doctor and heard a commotion in the hallway. The nurses were rushing to find a room to put this lady in because she had started throwing up again in the waiting room and was afraid she was going to pass out. Why had my fear of catching something kept me from asking the nurse to take her next instead of me? Then I had to ask myself a tough question. Would God be happy with the way I had acted today? I had to give the honest answer and it was, no. As a christian God would have wanted me to put others needs above my own. He must have looked at the way I acted today as selfish. I am ashamed of the way I behaved and from this point on I am going to try and make an effort to change.
As for my headaches they are due to tension and learning to relax a little more will solve that problem. If you are wondering about number 3. don't. I did try to hold my breath as much as I could, then I noticed that the elderly man sitting across from me kept staring at me as though I needed a doctor worse than he did. With those two men as sons though he had probably seen his share of someone holding their breath to get their way. :)

Weight Loss Woes Won't Keep Me Down

I know I haven't been posting on a regular basis, but like everyone that is trying to lose weight I have hit some real problem days. For the last two days I have suffered with horrible migraines. Yesterday I chalked it up to the virus that has been moving through the house. This morning when it woke me up from a sound sleep all I could think of was getting a cup of coffee. After the first cup my headache was gone. I haven't been trying to cut back on the caffeine but I guess I haven't been getting as much as usual since trying to drink more water. Maybe someone should come up with adding caffeine to water so when you give up the sweet drinks you can still get your caffeine fix. I don't mind drinking my coffee black so I may just drink a few cups throughout the day to keep this under control until I can deal with more pressing things.
I am proud of myself I did get on my stationary bike and ride for 20 minutes on Monday. This may not sound like a lot to most people but for me it is a major accomplishment. After having broken my ankle in 2009 and then having a partial knee replacement this year, any time spent on a bike or walking is great. My main goal is to get at least 20 minutes a day without resistance this week and then add 5 minutes and increase the resistance by one next week.
I thought about going to a doctor and getting started on weight loss medication and taking lipotropic injections. I may still but due to the cost I'm going to give it the old school trial of eating better, portion control and more exercise. I quit smoking in 2008 so I don't see why I can't use the same distractions and self control to lose weight. Yeah, I may not see the immediate results I saw when I stopped smoking but in the long run I hope to look better and feel better. I would love to get back into a nice pair of jeans and be able to wear a shirt without having to hide my belly roll.
I know I am getting close to 50 but there is no reason I can't get in shape enough that I can't wear a nice pair of jeans, top and a pretty pair of boots. If I can lose enough weight I would LOVE to be able to wear something that isn't stretchy in the waist and butt. Shirts that don't hang to my knees to cover all the extra me that is hanging out in all the wrong places.

The Next Generation

When I was growing up my parents always taught me to respect my elders. When my parents were visiting with friends children were told to not speak unless spoken to, unless of course you had something important to say. I'm sure when they used the word important they meant unless you were highly educated and/or an exceptional conversationalist, things like someone just stole the car or the back yard is on fire. Needless to say I stayed quiet. My parents didn't take respect lightly. You were given consequences if you didn't follow the respect rule. This would range from a scolding to an all out get a switch and meet me behind the wood shed type talk. Respecting your elders also meant that if you were in a room with limited seating when an adult came in the children from youngest to oldest gave up their seats for that person. The reason I bring this up is due to a doctors visit I had today. I have arthritis so the doctor is see is a rheumatologist. This means that most, if not all of his and his associates patients have the same disease. I admit to being one of the younger patients that visits their office. Needless to say that there are the occasional patients that are being brought in by much younger family members. Today while I was sitting in the office, which was already crowded when I arrived, I noticed that an elderly couple came in and had paperwork to fill out. There weren't any chairs for them to sit in side by side, or even in the same area so the gentleman gave the lady the chair to sit in while he stood. This meant that he would have to bend over to help, what I assumed was his wife, fill out her paperwork. Even though I wasn't very close to his partner I got up and told the gentleman he could have my seat. The others sitting in the same area looked surprised but started moving over so that they could sit together. I stood at the door because there were others coming inside and I saw no reason to take a seat that I would just have to move from eventually. Don't get me wrong this is not something that I felt quilted into doing, this was something that I was raised to do because it was the respectful thing to do. As I stood there I looked around and there were a couple of men younger than myself, but none of them ever offered to give up their seat or did they offer to let me sit down. When the lady left to go inside to see the doctor I took her seat and was sitting beside the gentleman I had originally given my seat. 

I know this sounds like a petty thing to some people. To me this shows just what our world is starting to be like. I heard on the news last night that there is a family in our state that is opposing corporal punishment in our schools, even though is is voluntary. This is a personal decision and there are people that I know will not agree with me, but if you allow someone the opportunity to spend the entire day with your child and teach them, why would you not allow this same person to control your child and also teach them that there are consequences to their actions? I only received one spanking in school. It was by my first grade teacher Mrs. Godfrey. I won't tell you what I did, but I will tell you I remember it, and it taught me never to do it again. As a side note, the spanking my older brother got when my mother found out where I had learned this particular action, taught him there were consequences also. People no longer spend the time with their children that our parents did and because of this children are not being taught respect. We won't let our children be punished in schools so they talk back to the teachers, cuss in the classrooms and show no respect to authority. This is why our jails are full and children that have respect for their elders and people in authority are being bullied to the point of committing suicide. We give our children cell phones at younger and younger ages and let them use social media. Yet we can't find the time to sit down, ask them about their day or check out the people they hang around with or where they go. Ask yourself how often when you give your children the keys to the car do you know exactly where they are going? I would like to say that I trust my children without a doubt, but that would be a lie. I would love to think that I would never have to be called and told my children aren't where they told me they would be, or that I have nothing to worry about. This is would be a gift that I could only dream about. I have driven by my children's friend's homes at different times just to see if they are where they said they were going. Yes, this may sound like I don't trust my kids, but they are kids. I am older and wiser. Not wiser than my parents at this age, just wiser than teenagers give me credit for being. Most of the time I have been proud to say that my kids were right where they told me they would be, but there have been times...let's just say I haven't got a wood shed but I do have a switch tree. My backside saw a good number of switches from my parents growing up and I haven't robbed a bank or shot up a parking lot full of people because of it. I have to say that because of it I am a better person. Now my father could accomplish more with one of his talks than my mother, but I knew my mother would get a switch after my bottom half and then I had to deal with Dad when he got home from work. What a concept some kids would have to wrap their minds around today. If we don't have time to talk to our kids no wonder we would think they don't need discipline. 

I saw a quote the other day that said, David killed Goliath with a rock so why not outlaw rocks? When I grew up parents spanked their children, teachers spanked their students and when kids got mad at each other they fought with their fists. There were still knives in the kitchen and most of our fathers had a rifle, but you never met anyone who killed their friends with them. Now we are outlawing guns, taking spanking out of schools and putting parents in jail for punishing their kids. I have actually overheard a child telling a parent if they spanked them they would call the department of human services on them. 

I guess what I am trying to say is this, if we want our kids to have respect we have to take back the principles that our parents used. Times may have changed but respect is respect in every generation. If you are going to outlaw spanking you might as well let your children run wild. This is what they are headed for anyway. I know we can't go back to the way things were, but can't we at least let the people that spend the most time with our children teach them right from wrong? Because if you aren't there to do it and you don't have time to find out who they are hanging around with I am afraid of what kids are going to be like as I get older. Families have stopped putting God first in their lives. We need more days in church teaching our children about the bible and less time in courtrooms deciding what weekends we are going to have with them. You can't tell your children that it is wrong to cuss people and disrespect elders when you don't walk the walk yourself. Just remember, we are having children later in life and these are the people being raised to take care of you when you get old. Do you really want someone taking care of you when you don't know who your own family members are, that has not been taught that you are worth that care? When I can no longer stand around in the waiting room and need the seat that a younger, healthier person is using can I count on someone having taught that young person to offer up their chair? I would like to think that today, in that waiting room, my mother looked down from her heavenly seat and beamed with pride in knowing she taught me how to respect my elders. I know I can expect that from my children. Can you expect that from yours?

Reality Workout

So, I have had a few days to work on the chubby fingers. Please...do you really think I will post that I have worked out everyday, lifted weights and ate only things that are green? If so then I think you need to go take a look at my profile. I am not exactly the athletic type. To start off with I get nose bleeds just watching a baseball game let alone playing the sport. I am only interested in running if it entails someone throwing $100 bills out of a window and then it better be enough of them to let me think I might be able to get one. Not to mention this mostly bionically engineered right leg of mine stays inflamed and only throbs when the grass needs cutting or leaves need raking. I try to give it as much rest as I can without letting the housework get ahead of me or the grass and leaves overtaking the house. But back to chubby finger syndrome. Nope, I haven't exercised a lot but I haven't sat around doing nothing either. I have been taking apart my kitchen a little at a time. I have one of those stock kitchens that you see at the local DIY store. It is approximately 10x10 in size and has very few cabinets. Not to mention that it was built in the 70's when having a kitchen was just a necessity to sell a house, people never really spent any time in them. I know a man with a sense of humor must have designed my kitchen because a woman would have never made lower cabinets that went further back than her arm could reach. In any case I have decided to see if I can de-clutter and add function to what is now a minimally functional space. Let me place a warning in at this point. Before undertaking this task make sure you have your mind set and nothing can change it about throwing things away. Do Not let yourself get sentimental about anything you may find hiding in cabinet areas that are not easily accessible. Now with that said, how did I ever end up with so many coffee cups?! At any given time in the history of our family there has never been more than 5 or 6 coffee drinkers in my house at one time. I found at least 40 coffee cups and mugs. You may think I am exaggerating and maybe it was a few less, but not much less. Think about it...if you buy a set of dishes for a normal size family they usually come in 8 piece place settings. There is a reason behind this, most people only have 8 people eating or drinking in the house. Of course if you look at holidays there are usually crowds of family members, but the catch to this is you always make them eat from paper plates and use plastic cups. Why then should your cabinets be so full of the things you don't use? Here is where the warning comes into play. Remember all those vacations you took when the kids were little? Remember when you just had to have something besides the millions of pictures you took to remind you of this special time together? Remember standing in that souvenir shop thinking if you bought a coffee cup or a plastic glass you would be instantly transported back to that fun filled, relaxing afternoon on the beach? Let me let you in on a little known secret. That is why those places sell dishes. They know you better than you know yourself. Unless you have your very own time machine in the garage that vacation is gone, the pictures are still in the envelope they came in and you are out valuable cabinet space. Now take all those vacation memories and donate them to someone. Go on a recently popular site that will tell you how to take all of your old cups and glasses and turn them into works of art that will have the Smithsonian knocking on your door one day pleading to display them. Ok, so I took that a bit far, but I have seen some really nice things made with cups and saucers. For instance, don't pay the Dollar Store to feed your birds, glue a cup sideways on a saucer and hang it outside for them. Heck don't hang it set it on the railing and let the cat eat too. Animal lovers don't hate, I love my little demon of a cat and I seriously get upset when she brings me an offering of anything dead. I have also found out something about people in general while cleaning out cabinets and throwing away clutter. We hoard crazy stuff! I'm talking about things that we should really be ashamed of because it is a waste. I am going to ask a question here and I want you to really think about it for a second? When we get take out for home meals why do we always save the left over, unopened utensils and condiments? At what point do we tell the server to keep these things because we have enough at home? Better yet, why do we have enough at home? Because we never had that apocalypse that we were going to survive by living off of packets of ketchup, taco sauce, soy sauce, duck sauce, Parmesan cheese and crushed red pepper flakes. Don't forget we never dug that fall out shelter with the plastic spoons we saved. As I write this I am thinking how bad this must sound. No I am not one of those people you see on the television that has to crawl through small spaces to get in and out of my house. I don't have a strong emotional attachment to a card board box of old newspapers. I am just someone like some of you that have come home from a long day with a take out sack that some teenager has packed full of sauce, set it aside and in the back of my mind maybe thought better save it because they may only put one in next time. Yes, I have let things get a little back logged. Think of it this way though, I am getting one heck of a workout throwing stuff away. In the end it's not a membership to a fancy gym that will help me lose the chubby fingers, but days filled with accomplishment knowing that now I can find what I am looking for in my kitchen. Wait...Where did I put those cookies?

To Short For My Weight

Today I have decided to use blue to print my blog. The reason I have chosen blue is because that is the way I feel. I have reached a point in my life that I am gaining weight without doing anything different. I'm not eating more or exercising less. If anything I am actually doing more than I have been in the last few months. It's not the number on the scale I am concerned with it's the fact that I can no longer wear my wedding rings. Yep, chubby finger syndrome. If this is not an actual medical condition it should be, because it has multiple symptoms. It starts out as I can't fit in my jeans anymore syndrome and progresses to I think my shirts have shrunk in the belly area syndrome. Then one day when you least expect it you are pulling your rings off and need soap to get them over your knuckle. For me chubby finger syndrome is unacceptable. Now over the next few months until I either start fitting back into my clothes or I buy moo-moos to wear I am going to do everything possible to get this thing fixed. I know I am not as young as I used to be, but that doesn't mean I have to become large and out of control. I feel like a bloated Golden Girl. I just realized the other day that I would be turning 49 in a few months. Forty nine!!! Where did my late thirties go? I used to lie about my age in my early thirties and tell people I was in my late forties. My idea behind this was that I may not look great for being in my thirties but looked awesome for being in my late forties. The only problem with still using this method to look younger is now I don't look good for my late forties, but I look about average for my late fifties. UGH!!! I thought I had found a system that would see me through until death and as I slowly slipped away my family could smile when they told people, "She was so young..." as long as no one could do math. LOL! 
Starting today I resolve to exercise, but try to sneak into it. I will start by riding the stationary bike everyday this week then next week find something else to do. If I sneak these things into my daily schedule maybe my body won't realize it is work and accept it as a regular routine. Just in case this doesn't work I suggest you start saving your pennies and get ready to buy stock in moo-moos and spanks. 

Holding on to 24,
Tamee

P.S. This has got to work because if I haven't said it before the countdown has started. I have 3 years left before I have a vow renewal and I refuse to not fit into the dress I have picked out.

Catching Up and Catching My Tail

I know it has been almost a year since my last post but hey, life is busy even if you sleep a lot. I am beginning to think that life is like a dog chasing its tail. You run around a lot and nothing ever gets accomplished. I have been chasing my tail for the past several months. Due to surgeries I haven't been able to keep my yearly schedule of cleaning and rearranging things. Spring cleaning was completely out, especially since we spent time trying to get everything ready for graduation and then sending Kelcy off to Ecuador. Yep you heard me right. My disorganized, slow to move, unmotivated child decided that God has called her to ministry so she started off with a blog entitled Great News. This is a wonderful and encouraging blog. We have enjoyed reading it and watching it grow around the world. She has truly found a way to touch lives with God's love and understanding. She always loved to write and as she grew up we always worried how in the world she was ever going to make a living. She never wanted at 9-5 job, school was a struggle to say the least, and she wanted to become an author but never finished a story. Watch out when you look up and say the words, God help us. You might get what you ask for and not even know what you are waiting on, He is funny that way. So Kelcy became and author of a blog. Then she hits us with the words we never thought we would hear from her. Mom, Dad, I want to go to Ecuador on a mission trip. As usual the words were, O.K. go to the meeting and let us know all the details. You know the things you say when you don't really think they will go through with something? Here she comes with a pile of paperwork and said I need to sign forms. Well the first thing that I noticed is that the cost of this trip, especially with graduation around the corner is going to be impossible. Let me give you a small piece of advice in case you are not used to God working miracles in your life. Never say that something is impossible because if it is something meant to glorify God He will see that it happens. That's right, she sent out donation letters and got almost all of the money needed. Only one fundraiser and she was just 676.00 away from climbing on that plane. Then when we just knew it wasn't going to work out, we get a text from the church that an anonymous donation of the exact amount she needed had just been made in her name. Needless to say at this point we started looking at things differently. Now I did forget to mention that in that pile of paperwork there was a release that stated we would not hold the church responsible if she were to be kidnapped, held hostage or killed while on this trip. Yes I did think this would be the piece of paper that changed her mind but not Kelcy. Nope she went to her roomed prayed and came back down with her signature in its place just waiting for mine. So I signed. The trip really made her grow up and changed her perspective on what she was going to do for a living. She loves working with children thanks to this trip and a beautiful little Ecuadorian boy named Axel. She now mends the emptiness in her heart after falling in love with this small child, and having to leave him and his family behind, by working with the same age group in the church daycare. I know she is already planning to return to Ecuador and reunite with him and his family, and of course to see the changes God has made in her absence. Since her return her blog has exploded with viewers. God is really working in her and through her. Here is a link to her blog if you would like to check it out.www.didyouknowjesusisalive.blogspot.com
You may think I am getting a little off track here and maybe I did, but maybe it was what we now term around here as a God thing. Eventually my life will never get back to normal, but it will get going in the right direction again. I have finally started to downsize and declutter. It will be so nice to open a cabinet without holding out my arms to catch cups and bowls as they explode outward. It will also be nice to close a closet door without using my whole body to shove the door closed until you hear a click and back away slowing as you stare at the door as if some horrible monster has just been locked on the other side. 
I have decided that in the next two weeks at least I will stop chasing my own tail and start chasing other things. Like girls out of the kitchen making messes while I clean, the ever elusive pot or pan that is out of place, band aids that you only find when you don't need them and toothpaste that you know is in that drawer somewhere. I hope I can take two weeks and transform a disaster into comfort. 
Stay tuned for the before and after pictures. By the way did I mention that yesterday I had Jeff take down the popcorn ceiling in the upstairs bathroom? Here I go...

Now What Can We Destroy?

Ok, it has been about 6 weeks since the surgery and I have officially thrown down the crutches. Limp a little, hurt a little, swell a lot. This too I have survived, hmm maybe I am a little tougher than I give myself credit for after all. Couldn't have made it through without all the prayers and family that was here when I needed them and just needed to cry. You have all heard what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, well I'm not sure about that, but it does make you notice things you wouldn't normally see. 
Six weeks is a long time to sit on your behind and watch television or surf the internet. Lets face it, if you don't keep up with the housework it will eventually show you just how bad it can get. Yes I have the girls that could do housework, but really Alyssa has a lot going on just trying to get through each day as a rape survivor, Kelcy has school and is trying to get donations to take a mission trip to Ecuador this summer, Jeff works, and well I've been watching dust bunnies grow. Did you know that dust bunnies start off as itty bitty things that you would normally just walk right by, but just like real bunnies they grow fast and reproduce faster? Take my word for it. As soon as I threw down my crutches I picked up my broom. Not the one I ride but the one that works. When dust bunnies see you pick up a broom they will let you get close but then they run and try to get away as fast as possible. In the end I was the winner. Tammy 1 dust bunnies 0.
I also figured out that Pinterest will keep you occupied for many hours and in my case put many, many ideas in my head for home and yard improvements. I think I should have labeled my Pinterest boards what they really are, one named dreams the other named don't try this alone. For some reason the one that has really stuck in my mind is tearing out the carpet on my stairs and painting the steps. I have hated this carpet since we bought the house. It is white. I shouldn't have to say more on this but I will. What kind of "real" person puts white carpet in all the most used spaces in their house? I guess you could also ask what kind of person buys a house with white carpet? I confess I didn't really pay attention to the carpet when we bought the house because carpet is something that I thought could be changed easily. HA!! Not at the price they are charging these days. It is either live with it or work around it. Never being afraid to take on a house redo challenge I have my mind firmly set on pulling up the carpet on the stairs and painting them. The girls have mixed reactions. Alyssa is all bouncy and ready for a challenge, like her mom, Kelcy keeps giving me these looks like I have finally crossed over the fine line between thinking I'm crazy and telling her Dad he may want to have my meds checked. I usually don't ask Jeff before I do something crazy to the house. He usually comes home and finds a work of disaster in the making. This time I thought I maybe should get his opinion before starting, so the other night as he was dozing off to sleep, I find this to be the best time to ask, I told him my plans. Expecting a simple groan I was surprised when he opened his eyes and asked me why I was telling him about this before just going ahead with it as usual? Now how was I suppose to explain that one? I don't know why I felt the need other than maybe I think I may be getting in over my head on this one. Plus this is the first thing you see when you open my door and if it doesn't work out as smooth as I hope we may have to live with it a while. He gave me the ok to do it, I just hope we don't regret it. I'll keep you updated. Maybe even post some pics because nothing ever gets done without a lot of humor when I start to tackle the unknown. 

14 Days Post-Op

Well I did it, made a rush decision and had a partial knee replacement. I don't think anything could have hurt more. I wonder everyday if this was a huge mistake. I still can't put all my weight on my right side. I have a constant leg ache that reminds me of the growing pains I had growing up except 10 times worse. I'm on pain meds every three hours and it still doesn't get rid of all the pain. Rehab came out yesterday and really worked my knee hard and this morning I can move it  a lot better than usual I just hope it lasts. The biggest thing I am worried about is not being able to straighten it out all the way like I could before. Alyssa and Kelcy are working so hard just taking care of me. They have really put up with a lot between cooking, washing and toting all my junk around the house. I want to try to go to church Sunday but I don't know if I can stand sitting up that long in a wheelchair. Well we will see how this goes. Hopefully I won't be stuck in this house much longer.