The Next Generation

When I was growing up my parents always taught me to respect my elders. When my parents were visiting with friends children were told to not speak unless spoken to, unless of course you had something important to say. I'm sure when they used the word important they meant unless you were highly educated and/or an exceptional conversationalist, things like someone just stole the car or the back yard is on fire. Needless to say I stayed quiet. My parents didn't take respect lightly. You were given consequences if you didn't follow the respect rule. This would range from a scolding to an all out get a switch and meet me behind the wood shed type talk. Respecting your elders also meant that if you were in a room with limited seating when an adult came in the children from youngest to oldest gave up their seats for that person. The reason I bring this up is due to a doctors visit I had today. I have arthritis so the doctor is see is a rheumatologist. This means that most, if not all of his and his associates patients have the same disease. I admit to being one of the younger patients that visits their office. Needless to say that there are the occasional patients that are being brought in by much younger family members. Today while I was sitting in the office, which was already crowded when I arrived, I noticed that an elderly couple came in and had paperwork to fill out. There weren't any chairs for them to sit in side by side, or even in the same area so the gentleman gave the lady the chair to sit in while he stood. This meant that he would have to bend over to help, what I assumed was his wife, fill out her paperwork. Even though I wasn't very close to his partner I got up and told the gentleman he could have my seat. The others sitting in the same area looked surprised but started moving over so that they could sit together. I stood at the door because there were others coming inside and I saw no reason to take a seat that I would just have to move from eventually. Don't get me wrong this is not something that I felt quilted into doing, this was something that I was raised to do because it was the respectful thing to do. As I stood there I looked around and there were a couple of men younger than myself, but none of them ever offered to give up their seat or did they offer to let me sit down. When the lady left to go inside to see the doctor I took her seat and was sitting beside the gentleman I had originally given my seat. 

I know this sounds like a petty thing to some people. To me this shows just what our world is starting to be like. I heard on the news last night that there is a family in our state that is opposing corporal punishment in our schools, even though is is voluntary. This is a personal decision and there are people that I know will not agree with me, but if you allow someone the opportunity to spend the entire day with your child and teach them, why would you not allow this same person to control your child and also teach them that there are consequences to their actions? I only received one spanking in school. It was by my first grade teacher Mrs. Godfrey. I won't tell you what I did, but I will tell you I remember it, and it taught me never to do it again. As a side note, the spanking my older brother got when my mother found out where I had learned this particular action, taught him there were consequences also. People no longer spend the time with their children that our parents did and because of this children are not being taught respect. We won't let our children be punished in schools so they talk back to the teachers, cuss in the classrooms and show no respect to authority. This is why our jails are full and children that have respect for their elders and people in authority are being bullied to the point of committing suicide. We give our children cell phones at younger and younger ages and let them use social media. Yet we can't find the time to sit down, ask them about their day or check out the people they hang around with or where they go. Ask yourself how often when you give your children the keys to the car do you know exactly where they are going? I would like to say that I trust my children without a doubt, but that would be a lie. I would love to think that I would never have to be called and told my children aren't where they told me they would be, or that I have nothing to worry about. This is would be a gift that I could only dream about. I have driven by my children's friend's homes at different times just to see if they are where they said they were going. Yes, this may sound like I don't trust my kids, but they are kids. I am older and wiser. Not wiser than my parents at this age, just wiser than teenagers give me credit for being. Most of the time I have been proud to say that my kids were right where they told me they would be, but there have been times...let's just say I haven't got a wood shed but I do have a switch tree. My backside saw a good number of switches from my parents growing up and I haven't robbed a bank or shot up a parking lot full of people because of it. I have to say that because of it I am a better person. Now my father could accomplish more with one of his talks than my mother, but I knew my mother would get a switch after my bottom half and then I had to deal with Dad when he got home from work. What a concept some kids would have to wrap their minds around today. If we don't have time to talk to our kids no wonder we would think they don't need discipline. 

I saw a quote the other day that said, David killed Goliath with a rock so why not outlaw rocks? When I grew up parents spanked their children, teachers spanked their students and when kids got mad at each other they fought with their fists. There were still knives in the kitchen and most of our fathers had a rifle, but you never met anyone who killed their friends with them. Now we are outlawing guns, taking spanking out of schools and putting parents in jail for punishing their kids. I have actually overheard a child telling a parent if they spanked them they would call the department of human services on them. 

I guess what I am trying to say is this, if we want our kids to have respect we have to take back the principles that our parents used. Times may have changed but respect is respect in every generation. If you are going to outlaw spanking you might as well let your children run wild. This is what they are headed for anyway. I know we can't go back to the way things were, but can't we at least let the people that spend the most time with our children teach them right from wrong? Because if you aren't there to do it and you don't have time to find out who they are hanging around with I am afraid of what kids are going to be like as I get older. Families have stopped putting God first in their lives. We need more days in church teaching our children about the bible and less time in courtrooms deciding what weekends we are going to have with them. You can't tell your children that it is wrong to cuss people and disrespect elders when you don't walk the walk yourself. Just remember, we are having children later in life and these are the people being raised to take care of you when you get old. Do you really want someone taking care of you when you don't know who your own family members are, that has not been taught that you are worth that care? When I can no longer stand around in the waiting room and need the seat that a younger, healthier person is using can I count on someone having taught that young person to offer up their chair? I would like to think that today, in that waiting room, my mother looked down from her heavenly seat and beamed with pride in knowing she taught me how to respect my elders. I know I can expect that from my children. Can you expect that from yours?

Reality Workout

So, I have had a few days to work on the chubby fingers. Please...do you really think I will post that I have worked out everyday, lifted weights and ate only things that are green? If so then I think you need to go take a look at my profile. I am not exactly the athletic type. To start off with I get nose bleeds just watching a baseball game let alone playing the sport. I am only interested in running if it entails someone throwing $100 bills out of a window and then it better be enough of them to let me think I might be able to get one. Not to mention this mostly bionically engineered right leg of mine stays inflamed and only throbs when the grass needs cutting or leaves need raking. I try to give it as much rest as I can without letting the housework get ahead of me or the grass and leaves overtaking the house. But back to chubby finger syndrome. Nope, I haven't exercised a lot but I haven't sat around doing nothing either. I have been taking apart my kitchen a little at a time. I have one of those stock kitchens that you see at the local DIY store. It is approximately 10x10 in size and has very few cabinets. Not to mention that it was built in the 70's when having a kitchen was just a necessity to sell a house, people never really spent any time in them. I know a man with a sense of humor must have designed my kitchen because a woman would have never made lower cabinets that went further back than her arm could reach. In any case I have decided to see if I can de-clutter and add function to what is now a minimally functional space. Let me place a warning in at this point. Before undertaking this task make sure you have your mind set and nothing can change it about throwing things away. Do Not let yourself get sentimental about anything you may find hiding in cabinet areas that are not easily accessible. Now with that said, how did I ever end up with so many coffee cups?! At any given time in the history of our family there has never been more than 5 or 6 coffee drinkers in my house at one time. I found at least 40 coffee cups and mugs. You may think I am exaggerating and maybe it was a few less, but not much less. Think about it...if you buy a set of dishes for a normal size family they usually come in 8 piece place settings. There is a reason behind this, most people only have 8 people eating or drinking in the house. Of course if you look at holidays there are usually crowds of family members, but the catch to this is you always make them eat from paper plates and use plastic cups. Why then should your cabinets be so full of the things you don't use? Here is where the warning comes into play. Remember all those vacations you took when the kids were little? Remember when you just had to have something besides the millions of pictures you took to remind you of this special time together? Remember standing in that souvenir shop thinking if you bought a coffee cup or a plastic glass you would be instantly transported back to that fun filled, relaxing afternoon on the beach? Let me let you in on a little known secret. That is why those places sell dishes. They know you better than you know yourself. Unless you have your very own time machine in the garage that vacation is gone, the pictures are still in the envelope they came in and you are out valuable cabinet space. Now take all those vacation memories and donate them to someone. Go on a recently popular site that will tell you how to take all of your old cups and glasses and turn them into works of art that will have the Smithsonian knocking on your door one day pleading to display them. Ok, so I took that a bit far, but I have seen some really nice things made with cups and saucers. For instance, don't pay the Dollar Store to feed your birds, glue a cup sideways on a saucer and hang it outside for them. Heck don't hang it set it on the railing and let the cat eat too. Animal lovers don't hate, I love my little demon of a cat and I seriously get upset when she brings me an offering of anything dead. I have also found out something about people in general while cleaning out cabinets and throwing away clutter. We hoard crazy stuff! I'm talking about things that we should really be ashamed of because it is a waste. I am going to ask a question here and I want you to really think about it for a second? When we get take out for home meals why do we always save the left over, unopened utensils and condiments? At what point do we tell the server to keep these things because we have enough at home? Better yet, why do we have enough at home? Because we never had that apocalypse that we were going to survive by living off of packets of ketchup, taco sauce, soy sauce, duck sauce, Parmesan cheese and crushed red pepper flakes. Don't forget we never dug that fall out shelter with the plastic spoons we saved. As I write this I am thinking how bad this must sound. No I am not one of those people you see on the television that has to crawl through small spaces to get in and out of my house. I don't have a strong emotional attachment to a card board box of old newspapers. I am just someone like some of you that have come home from a long day with a take out sack that some teenager has packed full of sauce, set it aside and in the back of my mind maybe thought better save it because they may only put one in next time. Yes, I have let things get a little back logged. Think of it this way though, I am getting one heck of a workout throwing stuff away. In the end it's not a membership to a fancy gym that will help me lose the chubby fingers, but days filled with accomplishment knowing that now I can find what I am looking for in my kitchen. Wait...Where did I put those cookies?

To Short For My Weight

Today I have decided to use blue to print my blog. The reason I have chosen blue is because that is the way I feel. I have reached a point in my life that I am gaining weight without doing anything different. I'm not eating more or exercising less. If anything I am actually doing more than I have been in the last few months. It's not the number on the scale I am concerned with it's the fact that I can no longer wear my wedding rings. Yep, chubby finger syndrome. If this is not an actual medical condition it should be, because it has multiple symptoms. It starts out as I can't fit in my jeans anymore syndrome and progresses to I think my shirts have shrunk in the belly area syndrome. Then one day when you least expect it you are pulling your rings off and need soap to get them over your knuckle. For me chubby finger syndrome is unacceptable. Now over the next few months until I either start fitting back into my clothes or I buy moo-moos to wear I am going to do everything possible to get this thing fixed. I know I am not as young as I used to be, but that doesn't mean I have to become large and out of control. I feel like a bloated Golden Girl. I just realized the other day that I would be turning 49 in a few months. Forty nine!!! Where did my late thirties go? I used to lie about my age in my early thirties and tell people I was in my late forties. My idea behind this was that I may not look great for being in my thirties but looked awesome for being in my late forties. The only problem with still using this method to look younger is now I don't look good for my late forties, but I look about average for my late fifties. UGH!!! I thought I had found a system that would see me through until death and as I slowly slipped away my family could smile when they told people, "She was so young..." as long as no one could do math. LOL! 
Starting today I resolve to exercise, but try to sneak into it. I will start by riding the stationary bike everyday this week then next week find something else to do. If I sneak these things into my daily schedule maybe my body won't realize it is work and accept it as a regular routine. Just in case this doesn't work I suggest you start saving your pennies and get ready to buy stock in moo-moos and spanks. 

Holding on to 24,
Tamee

P.S. This has got to work because if I haven't said it before the countdown has started. I have 3 years left before I have a vow renewal and I refuse to not fit into the dress I have picked out.

Catching Up and Catching My Tail

I know it has been almost a year since my last post but hey, life is busy even if you sleep a lot. I am beginning to think that life is like a dog chasing its tail. You run around a lot and nothing ever gets accomplished. I have been chasing my tail for the past several months. Due to surgeries I haven't been able to keep my yearly schedule of cleaning and rearranging things. Spring cleaning was completely out, especially since we spent time trying to get everything ready for graduation and then sending Kelcy off to Ecuador. Yep you heard me right. My disorganized, slow to move, unmotivated child decided that God has called her to ministry so she started off with a blog entitled Great News. This is a wonderful and encouraging blog. We have enjoyed reading it and watching it grow around the world. She has truly found a way to touch lives with God's love and understanding. She always loved to write and as she grew up we always worried how in the world she was ever going to make a living. She never wanted at 9-5 job, school was a struggle to say the least, and she wanted to become an author but never finished a story. Watch out when you look up and say the words, God help us. You might get what you ask for and not even know what you are waiting on, He is funny that way. So Kelcy became and author of a blog. Then she hits us with the words we never thought we would hear from her. Mom, Dad, I want to go to Ecuador on a mission trip. As usual the words were, O.K. go to the meeting and let us know all the details. You know the things you say when you don't really think they will go through with something? Here she comes with a pile of paperwork and said I need to sign forms. Well the first thing that I noticed is that the cost of this trip, especially with graduation around the corner is going to be impossible. Let me give you a small piece of advice in case you are not used to God working miracles in your life. Never say that something is impossible because if it is something meant to glorify God He will see that it happens. That's right, she sent out donation letters and got almost all of the money needed. Only one fundraiser and she was just 676.00 away from climbing on that plane. Then when we just knew it wasn't going to work out, we get a text from the church that an anonymous donation of the exact amount she needed had just been made in her name. Needless to say at this point we started looking at things differently. Now I did forget to mention that in that pile of paperwork there was a release that stated we would not hold the church responsible if she were to be kidnapped, held hostage or killed while on this trip. Yes I did think this would be the piece of paper that changed her mind but not Kelcy. Nope she went to her roomed prayed and came back down with her signature in its place just waiting for mine. So I signed. The trip really made her grow up and changed her perspective on what she was going to do for a living. She loves working with children thanks to this trip and a beautiful little Ecuadorian boy named Axel. She now mends the emptiness in her heart after falling in love with this small child, and having to leave him and his family behind, by working with the same age group in the church daycare. I know she is already planning to return to Ecuador and reunite with him and his family, and of course to see the changes God has made in her absence. Since her return her blog has exploded with viewers. God is really working in her and through her. Here is a link to her blog if you would like to check it out.www.didyouknowjesusisalive.blogspot.com
You may think I am getting a little off track here and maybe I did, but maybe it was what we now term around here as a God thing. Eventually my life will never get back to normal, but it will get going in the right direction again. I have finally started to downsize and declutter. It will be so nice to open a cabinet without holding out my arms to catch cups and bowls as they explode outward. It will also be nice to close a closet door without using my whole body to shove the door closed until you hear a click and back away slowing as you stare at the door as if some horrible monster has just been locked on the other side. 
I have decided that in the next two weeks at least I will stop chasing my own tail and start chasing other things. Like girls out of the kitchen making messes while I clean, the ever elusive pot or pan that is out of place, band aids that you only find when you don't need them and toothpaste that you know is in that drawer somewhere. I hope I can take two weeks and transform a disaster into comfort. 
Stay tuned for the before and after pictures. By the way did I mention that yesterday I had Jeff take down the popcorn ceiling in the upstairs bathroom? Here I go...